A Conversation for 'Intro and Outro', a song by The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band

A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 61

Demon Drawer

Jimster asked to proof the rest for readability I've yet to do that. smiley - sadface


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 62

chaiwallah


St.D,

this sentence doesn't make sense:

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A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 63

Gnomon - time to move on

I proofread about half of it today. Here are a few bits you should change:

although they featured others at differing times --> although the group featured others at various times

club scene, they went on --> club scene; they went on

they released released four albums --> they released four albums

extensively including the USA --> extensively, including in the USA

band's debut 1967 Album --> band's 1967 debut album

The Album was released --> The album was released

in October 1967 over 4 months after --> in October 1967 about 4 months after

so it very likely also a parody on that --> so it is very likely it is also a parody of that

many of the musicians were well known celebs in other fields and some were indeed deceased
-->
many of the musicians were well-known, and in some cases deceased, celebs in other fields

ever present member --> ever-present member

of the band, he attended --> of the band; he attended

on 26 May 1907 John Wayne --> on 26 May, 1907, John Wayne

Oscar winning --> Oscar-winning

His Xylophone playing abilities are not noted, unlike those of the celebrity astronomer Patrick Moore, not even in his last film The Shootist in 1976 just before he died of cancer later that year.
-->
Some celebrities, such as astronomer Patrick Moore, are noted for their xylophone playing; John Wayne isn't - not even in his last film The Shootist in 1976 just before he died of cancer later that year.

Eva Braun. He did have --> Eva Braun, he did have

was the flamboyant pianist --> was a flamboyant pianist

His was a well known voice, he shows used to -->
His was a well-known voice and his shows used to

1960s and 70s, would surely --> 1960s and 70s. He would surely

Dundee based Beano they appeared --> Dundee-based Beano; they appeared

smiley - smiley


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 64

Gnomon - time to move on

Here's the rest of it:

poetry that he read --> poetry readings

struck a cord --> struck a chord

later Viv's solo albums --> Viv's later solo albums

ukelele --> ukulele (twice)

ukulele playing comedy star --> ukulele-playing comedy star

forty year career --> forty-year career

Renaissance(1966 --> Renaissance (1966

bit part. Hence his inclusion --> bit part, hence his inclusion

without at least on Vox Humana --> without at least one Vox Humana

his lyrics we can not --> his lyrics. We can not

as to he original --> as to the original

"The puns in this one item are numerous, I’ll leave the reader to draw their own conclusion into Vivian Stanshall’s mind on this one, but all rely on irony and spinning of puns."
-->
"The puns in this one item are numerous; the reader should draw their own conclusions
as to what was in Vivian Stanshall’s mind on this one. All interpretations seem to rely on irony and the spinning of puns."

"The idea of the one member of the band getting small all the time playing Euphonium, the small member
of the Tuba family just about the right and would appear bigger as the incredible Shrinking
Man got smaller, is true comic genius"

permit me to rephrase this completely:

"The idea of the one tiny member of the band playing the Euphonium, the smallest member of the
family of largest brass instruments, the Tubas, is true comic genius."

a keen sportsman a competition standard --> a keen sportsman: a competition-standard

He was, like his father however unsuccessful --> Like his father, however, he was unsuccessful

British American Cup Challenger -- should this be British America's Cup Challenger, by any chance?

to dance on his parade -- to dance in his parade -- (I think)

is a shoe in as the best known campanologist in literary history -- I've never heard the phrase "a shoe in". Can any one else confirm it?

Whether the peal of bells that actually features on the record I will leave for you to decide when you next visit Paris.
-->
Whether the peal of Notre Dame actually features on the record the reader should decide when they next visit Paris.

by reducing it to microscopic size, at least that gives him something to talk to the euphonium.
-- I can't understand this at all.

World War. And afterwards --> World War and afterwards

He spelt out his address Keynsham which is another tribute the Doo Dah gave him with the album of that name.
-->
On the ads, he spelt out his address 'Keynsham'. The Doo Dah Band not only pay tribute to him here but also by naming one of the albums by that name.

Atlas like character --> Atlas-like character

caused a major stir compared to --> caused a major stir; but compared to

Threatened to do something or pulled a thing strings or
-->
He threatened to do something, pulled a few strings or

copies exist, if they --> copies exist; if they

smiley - smiley


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 65

Demon Drawer

I'll get unto it as soon as I get my election address written up.


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 66

Demon Drawer

Thank you Gnomon.

Paully what do you think?


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 67

Paully

Well it seems pretty much done to me. If there are no more comments from anybody by Friday morning, I'll accept this.

Well done all!

Paully


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 68

Gnomon - time to move on

very likely is was --> very likely it was

So all percussion really, including an ordinary domestic tap, except the vocals.

Doo Dah Band, Bob Kerr was also --> Doo Dah Band: Bob Kerr was also

They appeared as in --> They appeared in

(1970) The Hope and Keen --> (1970) and The Hope and Keen

unusual places Iceland --> unusual places: Iceland

Aka Martin Ash played --> Sam also known as Martin Ash played

Is an excellent pianist --> Neil is an excellent pianist

In fact appearing with the Pythons --> In fact he appeared with the Pythons

part of the Ruttles --> part of the spoof pop group The Ruttles

John Wayne isnt --> John Wayne isn't

he killed himself in 1944 --> he killed himself in 1945

voice, he shows --> voice; his shows

20 million American's --> 20 million Americans



There's more! I have still to do a second run through the second half.

smiley - smiley


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 69

Gnomon - time to move on

"So all percussion really, including an ordinary domestic tap, except the vocals."

I'm not happy with the phrasing of that sentence, in the context it is in. Can anyone suggest an alternative?


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 70

Paully

Right, I shall hang on...

[slaps own 'button clicking' finger] No, left hand! Wait! smiley - laugh

Paully


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 71

Demon Drawer

Dang Gnomon.

Howsabout

He basically played all percussion really, including an ordinary domestic tap, although he didn’t do vocals.


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 72

Demon Drawer

Put that finger back on standby, Paully.


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 73

Gnomon - time to move on

You say he did vocals, and then in the next sentence you say he didn't do vocals.smiley - erm


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 74

Demon Drawer

Did I?

smiley - run

smiley - nur

Point taken.


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 75

Demon Drawer

Get the finger to the ready again.


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 76

Gnomon - time to move on

who's hair --> whose hair

The Nude (1956), Rembrandt --> The Nude (1956), and Rembrandt

track ( see --> track (see

That's the full list.

smiley - ok


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 77

Demon Drawer

You sure?

If so they are all done.


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 78

Gnomon - time to move on

Go on, Paully! Press the RED BUTTON! smiley - mars


A1012591 - Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band 'Intro and Outro' - the Musicians

Post 79

Paully

Pressing now!

NO! NOT *THAT* BUTTON.... [boom!]


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Post 80

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