Possible uses for a belly button
Created | Updated Apr 12, 2003
A thought occurred to me, whilst perusing the literature on belly buttons1, though they all seem to bemoan the fact that fluff tends to collect there, they offer no alternative uses for this strange anatomical relic besides a temporary storage for lint. I intend to rectify this!
Uses when horizontal
- As a pot for paint when finger painting
- As a water bowel for a pet bird
- For keeping salt in when doing repeated tequila slammers
- Temporarily hiding diamonds that you have stolen from an international diamond dealers showroom and wish to smuggle out.2
- For simulating oases when filming desert based scenes in which a model will suffice3
Uses when standing
- When performing one's duties as a best man- keeping the ring in a safe place so that one doesn't misplace it for the critical moment
- As a storage for small sugar-based sweets, should you become hypoglycaemic4 whilst hiking
- Hiding a penny, for emergency occasions of pennying.
- Hiding the microfilm that you have just stolen from the evil superlord's HQ5
- Opening bottle as a party trick, twisty tops for beginners, non-twisty for show-offs
- Hiding a teeny-tiny spy camera for taking secret photos of secret things
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND ME EXTRA IDEAS
1Admittedly I only searched H2G2, but where else would I get such information?2Please note: I am in no way condoning criminal activities, I merely comment that this is a possible use.3Admittedly this requires the abdomen as well, with a little sand strewn around4Have low blood sugar levels5Probably by seducing his beautiful daughter and escaping a ludicrously overcomplicated death sequence
