Film, art, truth and money

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The humble pencil has lead many down the path to dissolution and despair. It has also taken many an otherwise lazy lout and turned him/her into an amazingly successful and rich and powerful lazy lout or loutess.

Now, what does the pencil have to do with film, or art?


Well, most artists have a pencil or two lying around. By this, I mean artists as opposed to ARTISTS. We'll get to the real value judgements later. Given a piece of blanked paper, people will do one of three things with it:

1. write on it

2. draw on it

3. fold it into a paper airplane or a silly hat

Film makers use paper in many ways, also.

1. To request more money because most of what they'd already received has gone down the loo...

2. To request more money because they won't get feeded unless the caterers get paid for the last six months of rubber chicken and weak coffee

3. To request a rewrite on the scenes they've already shot and will have to reshoot because the principle supporting actress came down with trichinosis from the caterer's food or ran off to join a cult that worships Angelina Jolie's mouth...

4. To create a treatment for a script that used to exist but won't in six months because the director's guild and the screenwriter's guild engaged in non-binding arbitration to skin the original writer out of everything they could.

There is no film without a pencil. Movies do not get made without writing. Now there is such a thing as storyboarding, which is essentially making drawn stills of the film as it is supposed to be as opposed to the way the script said it should be so that the director and the cinematographer can advance their art at the expense of the writer's because, as everyone knows, writers are a dime a baker's dozen but a really goodly director (or cinnamontographer) only comes along once in a graduating class at UCLA or CALARTS.

Films rely on writing. They need to be puffed up in the public eye in order to be watched by someones other than the Directors and the actors estranged families.

Now, regardless of whether the script or the idea for the film was based on a lie or a truth (somewhere back down the line), everything in a film is a lie. People whine about camera tricks and unrealistic action or effects. I've got news for them. Everything the camera does is a trick. It takes three dimensional reality and captures a flat image of one side of that and takes it away with it as a vague approximation of reality sketched in unrealistic colour, stretched shadows and distorted light. It takes more effort and money to make a truly realistic-looking film than it does to just let the video camera roll and capture raw footage. Documentaries have to use any number of tricks and processes in order to appear uneffected and nice. Many years ago Walt Disney had to spend untold years and piles of money just to show Amurricans what a kangaroo rat's life cycle was like in glorious Technicolour (or VistaVision, I forget which). It was utterly realistic and as fake as a chocolate coin.


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