Ancient Rites at Glasgow University

Contributed by Oh just call me Munchkin Then!

Glasgow University, being an ancient university, has many strange little by-laws, including some that directly contradict U.K. law. One is that it is legal to duel with swords in the cloisters. Another by-law is that, while sitting your exams, you are entitled to request a glass of Port from the invigilators, as refreshment.

Apparently, one day, someone tried this. He called the invigilator over and asked for his Port, citing the rules. The invigilator went and conferred with his other lecturers. They checked the by-laws and, indeed, it was there. However, they read on, and then threw the guy out for not wearing a morning suit and sword. The rules stated that he had to be suitably attired to sit his exam.

Bonkistry Exam

Contributed by Merkin

Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as 'Bonkistry'. He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final, they had a solid A.

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday) they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to UVA for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.

So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said:

"(95 points) Which tire?"

The Utimate Sacrifice

Originally suggested by Lupa Mirabilis and finally put into a story format by Colonel Sellers after stealing pieces from Jimi X, vaguely safe, and Merkin

At certain universities, it's incredibly unwise to have a roommate in danger of flunking out.

The particulars vary from school to school. Depending on the institution, a roommate can receive straight A's for the entire semester. Many others will automatically award a passing grade in every class. This is to compensate the student for trauma. These grades go into effect if a student's roommate commits suicide.

The tragic side of this rule revealed itself in May of 1994, at the University of California, Santa Clara (UCSC). Two roommates, in danger of failing out of school, collaborated against their other roommate, who was a promising business student with a 3.86 average. They took the young man out partying Saturday, May 14th, and brought him home in a stupor. Unconscious, they laid him down in the shower stall, turned on the water, and slit both of his wrists. He died a few hours later.

Initially, investigators were ready to rule out foul play, but the young man's girlfriend tipped off police. She had learned, from word of mouth, that the three of them had been together that night in a local club frequented by UCSC students. The roommates had earlier made a statement that they had been out, but without the victim. It was uncharacteristic for him to be drunk, she protested, since he despised alcohol. The District Attorney was swayed by her statements, and he ordered a full autopsy to be conducted, which revealed the presence of narcotics in his system. Bruise marks were also found on his arms, presumably where the two roommates had held him in order to drag him to the shower,as well as scrape marks on the backs of his legs and his heels. Under intense questioning, one of the students finally broke down and confessed. They both received life sentences to San Quentin prison for first-degree murder. The rule at UCSC has since been changed.

Index

If you enjoyed this, go ahead and continue on to another:

• Return to the Main Page
• Go to Volume I: The Macabre
• Go to Volume II: Hazards of theTechnological Age
• Go to Volume III: Biological Problems
• Check out Merkin's collection of Tech Support Urban Myths