Guitar

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This six stringed musical instrument was invented by the Moors of North West Africa and spread through Europe in medieval times becoming particularly popular in Spain. It has a hollow wooden body that acoustically amplifies the vibrations of the strings, which extend from the bridge, over the sound hole and up the neck to the headstock. The neck is inlaid with frets that allow a wide range of notes to be played at various positions along its length.

The guitar is played by holding the strings down on the neck with one hand, fingers placed just behind the frets, and picking or strumming the strings above the sound hole with the other hand. The picking or strumming of the strings is often aided by a small flat device called a plectrum or pick.

This describes what is now known as an acoustic guitar. A more exciting development came in the 1950's when Les Paul and Leo Fender invented the electric guitar. These have solid or semi-solid bodies and the amplification is provided electronically, usually through banks of effects pedals. The solid nature of the body allows a wide range of weird and wonderful shapes, usually mean and pointy.

As well as the fretting hand and the picking hand, the electric guitar also requires the use of the facial muscles in order to play it. Particularly tricky passages involve bizarre expressions, grimacing and pouting. Often a foot is employed. This is usually placed on the top of a monitor in front of an attractive member of the audience.

Because of the grimacing and pouting required by particularly emotive solos, the guitarist finds it difficult to keep a cigarette in his mouth at the same time and so in the late sixties, Fender added an innovative gadget to some of its Stratocaster guitars. Looking (and in fact, performing) exactly, like a standard guitar string, this device was perfect for holding the guitarists lighted Marlboro (and looking seriously cool in the process).

There is a strange and as yet unexplained phenomenon associated with the electric guitar. When connected to a supply of electricity via an amplifier, it emits a localised field of electrically charged pheromones, which makes anyone playing the instrument instantly desirable to members of the opposite sex. For some reason, this effect does not seem to work with Noel Gallagher of Oasis.

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