The Tom Green Chronicles Revisited
Created | Updated Jan 16, 2003
Jessie : Jadie! Darling! *She runs to Jade and hugs her, though much more gently than James, and then air-kisses her, making certain that her gauntlet sparkles prettily in the low light.
Jade: *forces a smile* Jessie… How nice to see you.
Firefly: *noticeably eyeing Jessie's gauntlet in a slightly amorous manner*
Jade: *notices, steps hard on his toe*
Firefly: Ow.
Jessie: Firefly…! *She lets go of Jade at once and rushes over to Firefly, hugging him tightly and then kissing him full on the lips*
Tom: Erm.
Fred : Ummm…
Jade: Uh, hey…?
James: *covers his eyes*
Jessie: *finally releases Firefly and grins evilly at Jade*
Firefly: *reeling slightly* …Hi to you too, Jessie.
Jade: *icily smiles at Jessie* Well isn't this nice…?
Jessie: I’m so glad you're back! There's so much to tell you!
Jade: Oh really?
Jessie: Oh yes! But first, I have a surprise for you, okay? Close your eyes…
Tom: *under his breath* Oh no…
Jade: *raises an eyebrow at him and mouths 'What?'*
Tom: *shakes his head*
Jessie: *grabs hold of Jade's hand and begins to pull her up the stairs* Come on! You have to see!
Jade: *shrugs and allows herself to be pulled upstairs*
James: Jade is gonna freak…
Firefly: *still reeling slightly* Why, what's Jessie done…?
Meowth: Let's just say she’s done a little redecoratin'…
Firefly: Oh no…
Tom: Oh yes.
*as if on cue, Jade screams*
Jade: What the ing have you done with my mothering room you evil cheap mothering y …! *She storms down the stairs and grabs Firefly
by the crook of his arm.* C'mon, we’re leaving.
Firefly: Aww come on, it can't be all bad…
Jade: Oh, it is. C'mon, we're staying in a hotel.
Jessie: *runs down the stairs* Wait! Don't go!
Jade: You ed up my room, you ! What the …? I mean first you take over my goddess…hood. And then you French ing kiss my ing boyfriend, and now it turns out you've reing decorated my ing room! Well I’m not staying here!
Jessie: *her eyes shine with tears and she runs up the stairs*
James: Now look what you've done.
Jade: You honestly don't think I should feel bad for that…? * Jade notices that everyone seems to be giving her disapproving looks* What the . Kind of ing conspiracy is this…? *She sighs, then shouts up
the stairs* Awright, Jessie, we'll stay.
Jessie: *runs back down the stairs* Oh yay! We can have a slumber party! *She jumps up with joy*
Jade: Um, maybe not tonight.
Jessie: *looks slightly crestfallen, but shrugs* All right, maybe some other night. At any rate, you can go up there and freshen up. I'm sure you'd like to, after your long flight.
Jade: Yeah, that sounds good…
Firefly: *grinning like an idiot at Jessie*
Jade: *glares at him and grabs his arm, tugging him upstairs*
*When they reach Jade's room, it is readily apparent why Jade freaked out.*
Firefly: She even 'lovely roomed' your room?
Jade: It looks that way… You should see the bathroom… *she sighs* This is gonna take weeks to undo…
Firefly: *throws himself face-first onto Jade's (lovely) bed and yells a muffled* Why are they all such in' psychos…?
Jade: *icily* You didn’t seem to be of such a mind when she kissed you…
Firefly: *rolls over onto his back* Well what did you expect me to do…? I was as surprised as anyone…
Jade: But you didn’t try to pull away or anything, did you…?
Firefly: But Jade. I-
Jade: it, Firefly, I don't even care right now. I'm getting in the shower if anyone wants me. *She grabs a (lovely) towel from a basket nearby and slings it over her shoulder, then goes into the bathroom and slams the door.*
Firefly: Well that one certainly got me in the doghouse…
Jade: skippy it did…!
*A few moments later the sounds of rushing water can be heard.*
Firefly: *sighs and reaches down to untie his shoes*
Mysterious voice: *apparently from nowhere* Fiiireflyyyyy…
Firefly: *looks up* Erm, yes?
Mysterious voice: Coooome to meeeeee…
Firefly: Jade, is that you…?
Mysterious voice: Coooome to meeeeee…
Firefly: *stands and begins searching for the origin of the voice* …Where are you…?
Mysterious voice: Ooooverrr heeerrrreeee…
Firefly: *moves a few steps to the right* Here, then?
Mysterious voice: Noooo…
Firefly: *steps to o the right again* …Here…?
Mysterious voice: Juuuuust a biiiit furrtherrrrr….
Firefly: *takes another step to the right* Here?
Mysterious voice: Noooo, furtherrr…
Firefly: *takes another step* Here?
Mysterious voice: Lowerrrrr…
Firefly: *lowers himself to the floor, pressing his ear to it in hopes to hear better* Here then?
Mysterious voice: Byyy theee beeedddddd…
Firefly: *crawls toward the bed somewhat cautiously* Here…?
Mysterious voice: Right then. *evil laugh*
Firefly: *peeks under the bed, and then gasps* What the …?
*Firefly is pulled under the bed emitting a slight muffled scream. Just then, Jade comes out of the bathroom, clothed in a silk kimono-ish robe, rubbing her hair roughly with a fluffy green towel.*
Jade: Firefly…? I've decided that you shall no linger be in the doghouse if you make it up to me with your sweet lovi-… Hello… *Jade notices a message scrawled on her (lovely) vanity mirror. (In dark red lipstick.) She reads aloud* 'If you ever
want to see your sweet Martian again, leave now.' Well that doesn’t make any sense… How am I supposed to see Firefly again if I leave…? Rubbish, that. I'm not going anywhere.
*Jade's ethereal goddess glow lessens slightly, it being such a small change that Jade of course, does not notice.*
For the record y'all, cappuccino makers are terrific Christmas gifts. But they make Jade 1) stay up all ing night, and 2) write too much, and 3) refer to herself in the third person and 4) curse like a muthaa.
Myargh. (And make odd noises. That too. But hey, you would as well if you had had as much caffeine as I. So bleh.)
Tom Green Chronicles Mark II
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