Deep Thought: Passing on the Wisdom
Created | Updated Last Week
Deep Thought: Passing on the Wisdom
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Now that we have put 2024 to bed and are preparing for new madness, let us stop to appreciate the pillar upon which the world's wisdom rests: the internet. After all, civilisation is on life support, and only the web is keeping it alive – at least, as long as the electricity stays on.
I love the way ultramodern people rediscover the basic facts of existence. Their innocent delight at finding out things the human race has known since Noah was a pup is rather endearing.
Take potatoes. It seems the postmodern city dweller has just learned about them from watching all of those LOTR sequels, prequels, and whatnot. However, their ignorance of this lifegiving foodstuff is appalling.
Making the rounds of social media is the image of a bag of potatoes, which the owner says they left on a shelf for three months. The potatoes have sprouted, which surprised them – and sent out rhizomes, which terrified them. This photo has cropped up on Reddit, Bluesky, and Twitter/X, usually with captions indicating the sheer monstrous will to live of the potato.
It may be the soaring price of eggs or a rebirth of bird-fancying, but urban/suburban chicken farming is on the rise – and with it, the presence of poultry-related social media posts. A Youtube user confided that his chickens were reluctant to roost at night until he learned a 'magic yell' that brought them back to the coop. Before that, he claimed, it was 'like a bad comedy movie out there every night' with him chasing chickens everywhere. A quick look at Youtube reveals that many hopeful chicken farmers out there are experiencing similar quandaries. Google 'getting chickens to roost at night' for handy advice. As with all 21st-century problems, Youtube is your friend.
I can hear my ancestors laughing, going back at least 400 years.
My grandmother would have been a Youtube star: trust me on this. I'll never forget how mad she got at a hen once. This particular hen had about a dozen chicks, which followed her around everywhere. Come nightfall, the hen was unwilling to roost in the chicken coop. Instead, she headed for a tree in the yard. She settled on a branch, leaving the chicks peeping anxiously on the ground.
My grandmother was outraged. She rattled the branch with a broom handle, shouting, 'Get down and take care of those chicks! What kind of mother ARE you?' My own mother, her daughter-in-law, was watching out the window and smothering laughter. I really wish I had a video of that.
Another hen was a better mother. Not only did she raise her own chicks, but she also adopted an abandoned clutch of duck eggs. The ducklings and the chicken got along fine – until the baby ducks found water. Watching them happily swimming in the pond while the hysterical hen ran back and forth on the bank, squawking dire warnings, was deeply funny. At least, funny to my grandmother: to the hen, not so much.
Social media: a feast for anthropologists. Learn more than you ever wanted to know about humans. And kids? Here you may recover all of the lore your clueless parents forgot to absorb from their parents and pass on to you.
Happy New Year, everyone. May the coming days be filled with shared wisdom. And may Farmer Hoggett enjoy the t-shirt I gave him: it says 'Chicken Whisperer.'
