So much to believe, so little time. You know, sometimes these things turn out to be true? Well, maybe not these stories, but still….

Here are the latest conspiracy theories.

1. The claim that members of the Democratic Party were sex trafficking (and worshipping Satan) under Washington's Comet Ping Pong was debunked when the restaurant proved to have no basement. This was, hopefully, the end of Pizzagate.
2. People unwilling to believe that incidents of mass violence happened sometimes accuse prominent victims who speak out of being paid 'crisis actors'.
3. In 2015, a conspiracy theory stated that then-president Barack Obama was planning to institute martial law in Texas under cover of a military exercise. Former CIA Director Michael Hayden has now said (on his book tour) that the spread of this rumour was largely due to activity by Russian bots.
4. Mark Steele of Gateshead, Tyneside, UK, tells anyone who will listen that 5G transmitters have killed all of the local sparrows, but didn't hurt the seagulls. This is obviously sinister.
5. Recently, Amazon had a problem: its salesbot Alexa was giving out conspiracy theories about chemtrails. (Naughty Alexa.)
6. In March 2018, the BBC had to officially deny that it had photoshopped Jeremy Corbyn's hat to make it look 'more Russian'.
7. Earth dodged a bullet (again) on 23 April, when the mysterious planet Nibiru (again) failed to appear in the sky and usher in the Rapture. Better luck next time.
8. According to a 2013 poll, half (50%) of all Americans doubt the official story of the JFK assassination, while only 4% believe in the aforementioned 'reptilian alien' theory.
9. In April, a long-missing U-Boot was found off the coast of Denmark, finally putting paid to the conspiracy theory that it was used to transport high-ranking Nazis to South America in 1945.
10. On 30 April, 2018, more than 200 gathered in Birmingham for the UK's first-ever Flat Earth convention. The fact that this 'scientific' convention – obviously Galaxy Babe's favourite – was held on Walpurgnisnacht should really spark its own conspiracy theory.

Please spread this quiz – but not the theories. We know better ones.

That one was real.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

28.05.18 Front Page

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