Hello and welcome to Oztezoz. My name is Sez and I'll be your tour guide for this trip along the Odorboz Shores. Our driver is Luz – let's have a cheer for Luz (muted cheer). Now, is there anyone here from Ledhur? (loud cheer) How about Urzhelk? (similarly loud cheer) Urrurn? (three people cheer) Welcome, welcome – glad you could make it. I heard about that – who would have thought those boats would be so good at sailing upstream? Let's hope they have gone by the time you get back there, hey? Now, who's not from Nerbdurzh or Odbech? (medium cheer) Good, good – I'm sure you'll enjoy getting to know this beautiful area.

Right, before we set off, let's just run through the itinerary for the week. In about an hour's time we will be stopping at the Odorboz View Hotel, where your dinner is included and you'll be spending the night there.

Tomorrow morning we will go as a group to Oztezoz Beach where you can see the Sunsrise – it promises to be an exciting event as the weather forecast is good. You will then have two hours to explore the soft sandy beach and dip your toes into the Odorboz before we have lunch at the Oztezoz Beach Café – the menu there has a great range of local seafood from Azweed to Zozfish and I'm sure you'll find something you will enjoy.

Tomorrow afternoon, it is either free time in Oztezoz or you can join me for a guided walk through the old town – it is only §3 per person. Everyone must get back to the coach by 4pm as we then have a three-hour drive to the outskirts of Orchnelned and the Blue Grotto Hotel where again dinner is included and you will stay the night.

Wozday morning is an excursion to the Blue Grotto, which is very near the hotel so you can enjoy a bit of a lie in. Make sure to wear stout shoes as the beach round Orchnelned is quite rocky. You'll be amazed by the Grotto, though – I love going there myself when I'm on holiday. In the afternoon you can have free time in Orchnelned, or join me on a boat trip out into the Odorboz. It is only §24 per person (quiet grumbles) and you'll have a chance to see live Zozfish and maybe even some Izwhales.

Wozday night we will be staying in the Orchnelned Central Hotel. You can dine there, or for an extra §15 you can go to the nearby Odorboz Cabaret Restaurant where the famous Azia and Zir Friends will entertain you while you eat.

There will be an all-day excursion round the Wizzel Peninsula on Truzday – there will be plenty of opportunities for you to take photos at the Odorboz viewing points, and we will also go deeper into the countryside on the Peninsula where you might get some good pictures of the Tizbirds and Uzfinches that are native to this area. Lunch will be in the Wizzel Forest Café, and you can buy drinks and snacks at the Bozbury Inn where we will stop for an hour to watch the Sunsset – let's hope the weather is good for that, as it can be a beautiful and romantic spectacle if the conditions are right (muted cooing). Dinner is included at the Ubelzchuz Valley Hotel where we will spend Truzday night.

On Fizday we will be setting off for Ezelkelz at 11am. Before we depart you might like to spend some time in Ubelzchuz, or there is a local craft exhibition in the Hotel's conference room that will be well worth a visit – it is only §3 per person and it opens at 8am. Make sure you're on the coach by 11am, though.

Leaving Ubelzchuz, we will follow the shoreline and stop at another Odorboz viewing point for you to take some more photos of the sea before we start heading inland. We will stop for lunch in the Nerbdurzh National Forest Visitor Centre and you will have a couple of hours to either explore the exhibition in the Visitor Centre or join me on a guided walk through the West Quarter of the Forest where the rare Red Suzzels live – only §3 per person. Get back to the coach by 4pm and we will continue on to Ezelkelz where you will have dinner and stay the night in the Ezelkelz Spa Hotel. Make sure to try a glass of Zelkel River Water – it will really pep you up! (muffled laughs) A range of spa treatments can be purchased – we won't be setting off for Ezelkelz International Station until 1pm on Zatday so you will have plenty of time for rest and relaxation in the morning or you can join me on an excursion round Ezelkelz for just §3.

You can buy tickets for the excursions from me at any time during the week. Souvenir Guidebooks are available in Nerbdurzhu, Odbechi and English – you can buy them from me at the front of the coach for only §9. I hope you enjoy your week, and at the end of the holiday, if you have enjoyed your time with Slozmoz Tours, please consider leaving a tip for your driver and guide. (loud mumbling) Right, Luz – let's go, let's go!

SashaQ

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