You know what a magpie is, right? A bird that's known for collecting things. Or stealing things, even if they aren't immediately useful things, like pens, candles and coathangers. Which is really what I intended to natter about here: the idea that writers, like magpies, collect things which might appear to be useless. Things like images, ideas, scraps of conversation, etc. And that, just as magpies often use these found objects in their large nests, we use the things we collect to enrich our writing. Which was, I thought, a pretty good point to make.

But then I looked up magpies. And turned into an illustration of my own thesis.

First: magpies, which are corvids, therefore pretty clever, as Willem will tell you, can recognise themselves in a mirror. This makes a magpie more socially adept than me. I can't recognise myself in a mirror, except when I'm the only one in the mirror. That's because I have prosopagnosia, or face blindness. So score one for the magpies. At least I can write about it.

Next, I found out that magpies hold funerals. Which I found really impressive and endearing. What amazing creatures they are. If I lost a buddy like that, I'd probably cry, too.

They're playful, too. The magpie in that video was egging the puppy on to all sorts of mischief. Look out, laundry. Interspecies fun.

Magpies are good imitators. They can do other birds, other animals, and odd sounds like sirens. Hm, I'm beginning to be in awe… Okay, they can even sing in choirs….now you're freaking me out…they imitate, another writerly trait.

Magpies are hard on predators, such as cats. You can't blame them, and boy, do they have technique. Writers have to work hard to skewer the predatory among the human population.

And just like writers, magpies sometimes attend conferences. And they have their say about the issues of the day, no doubt.

So, okay. Writers are a lot like magpies, because:

• They're clever.
• They collect Stuff.
• They attack Evil.
• They imitate the world around them.
• They like to talk.

Okay, so call me a magpie, I don't care. Like them, I'll make art out of what I can find. See you later, and remember: all God's creatures got a place in the choir.

Writing Right with Dmitri Archive

Dmitri Gheorgheni

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