What Everybody knows changes from time to time. Sometimes, those old wives' tales turn out to be true.

Are you the sort to scoff at the past? You know, that impossible period of history starting with the Big Bang and ending with the miraculous arrival of you? Does your personal Year Zero begin when you got your first Twitter account? Then this quiz is for you, because it's going to come as a surprise.

All of these 'old wives' tales' are true. At least, according to current scientific knowledge. Amazing: maybe your great-great-grandparents weren't as thick as you thought. Of course, now we have an idea of why they said that.

Doesn't that make you feel superior?

1. Peanut butter will remove chewing gum from the bottom of your shoes. This information is mostly of interest to North Americans, but we add it as a public service. And yes, it will. Ask a chemist why.
2. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Yep. That apple is just chockfull of antioxidants. So there.
3. Carrots help you see in the dark. They're full of Vitamin A, which helps night vision. And no, even if you eat a whole bagful every day, it doesn't mean you can throw away those eyeglasses.
4. Eating cheese before bed can give you strange dreams. Yes. Scientists have tested this, so help us. They found out that Stilton gave Brits the worst cheese-fueled nightmares. Advice: eat it for lunch, not tea. And don’t post us that Monty Python sketch, we know it by heart.
5. Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Yes, it's true. Why? Oh, go ask a meteorologist. We're too lazy to explain all those fronts, etc.
6. Heartburn during pregnancy indicates that you will have a hairy baby. Someone actually studied this. You can get a grant for anything these days. And yes, it's true. Wait! They didn't say heartburn caused hairy babies, just that there was a statistical correlation. It's probably on the same chromosome, or something.
7. Eating celery uses up calories. Yeah, about 5 calories per celery stick. It's work. And that's about how many calories the veg has in it, so you break even. The Doctor was onto something. Wear it with pride.
8. A bit of the 'hair of the dog' will help a hangover. Yes, it helps with the withdrawal symptoms. Not a good long-term solution, though.
9. Chocolate helps cure depression and a broken heart. Oh, so true. Chocolate's serotonin-enhancing qualities can not only elevate your mood, but also improve your immune system. Happier and healthier, how about that?
10. In addition to being a sin, cannibalism is bad for your health. Yes, yes, yes. Don't do it, no matter how tempting. Ever hear of kuru, the brain-rotting disease? It's only one of many things that could happen. Nature does not intend for species to eat themselves, only each other.

Now, aren't you glad you know all that? Don't you feel even more superior to your ancestors, who just basked in their ignorance?

Maybe we should hang up all this newfangled science, and just consult The Farmer's Almanac.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

05.01.15 Front Page

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