Rain, snow, sleet, and early-morning volcanos. We hate the weather.

Who knew the weather could be so treacherous? Apparently, everybody back in the Mesolithic. After all, Al Gore warned them about global warming…

Here are some major historical events. All weather-related.

1. What were Britons near the Channel complaining about in 6100 BCE? (No, it wasn't the football results.) The fact that they were suddenly on an island. Before that, Britain was attached to the Continent. Britain left the EU abruptly, when a giant tsunami triggered by a melting ice mass struck the north-east of England, travelling 40 km inland and separating the island from the mainland. The Channel River basin was no more.
2. Of course, everybody knows the weather gods love England. What did they do to defeat the Spanish Armada in 1588? Stirred up a hurricane. Not fun, being in a wooden ship in a hurricane.
3. A strange hysteria gripped New England in 1692. What bizarre legal proceedings were inspired by unfortunate weather conditions? The Salem Witchcraft Trials. The cold, wet weather caused hallucinogenic smut to grow on the rye crop. It wasn't witches. It was mouldy bread.
4. Apparently, they scare easily in New England. What probably caused people in 1780 to think the world was coming to an end? Strong winds, and forest fires in Canada. You can read all about the great weather apocalypse here No zombies, though.
5. What is the connection between weather and the French Revolution? Crop failure. Drought, followed by killer hailstorms, drove food prices sky-high. People were ready to riot – and they did.
6. What meteorological phenomenon is commemorated in Edvard Munch's painting 'The Scream'? The weird skies caused by Krakatoa. 1883 was a weird weather year, due to a powerful volcano.
7. What strange rain had people running for cover in Bath, England, in 1894? A rain of jellyfish. We have no further information on this event, so don't ask.
8. What prolonged weather phenomenon drove people out of Oklahoma in their thousands in the 1930s? Dust storms. The Dust Bowl, also known as the 'Dirty Thirties', ruined crops and rendered farmers destitute. It caused a mass exodus in the direction of California, and inspired Woody Guthrie to become a major musical influence.
9. What weather phenomenon may have caused the Hindenburg disaster? A lightning storm. Not the storm itself, but the static electricity. Scientists think the built-up charge may have been earthed by the technicians mooring the great zeppelin, setting off the explosion. In other words, the balloon had one massive case of static cling.
10. What did most to defeat Hitler's Russian campaign in 1941? Winter weather. It was said that soup ladled from boiling vats froze on the way to the bowl. Brr. Russia's biggest ally: the Frost King.

How did you do? Amazing how potent the weather is. No wonder we talk about it all the time. Rain or shine, though, we'll weather the storm…just as long as it doesn't rain jellyfish!

Dmitri Gheorgheni

17.02.14 Front Page

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