h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm, I'm not high maintenance.
Some weeks he looks after me, some weeks I look after him (financially)
We are so sweet together (8 months total). We have pretty much been living together for 7 of those. People here think we are really a neat couple.
But then... he goes back to his country & I hardly hear boo from him. The words or 3 that he sends every few days are quite nice- as far as texts & mailchats go.
It stinks. I lose my best pal.
(actually reading that- it doesn't look as bad as it feels)
but... when he's here he phones his wife & daughter every evening- no matter where we are or who we're with.
Everything else is pretty much good/ wonderful, but I find this being dumped & respecting his no initiating contact rules a bit tough.
Feels a bit one sided.
I'm happy not to contact him- but I'd still like a phone call every few days, or an actual conversation now & then during his family week.
Does this make me a bad mistress?

No. It makes him a bad man. Or maybe just a greedy one. He's living with you and taking money from you, and all the while maintaining a relationship with his wife and family. Please tell me you aren't paying for those phone-calls abroad....?

I've been where you are and I ended up £3000 worse off and with a badly .

Being a mistress is not about being a doormat. It's about sharing precious and rather naughty times outside everyday life and staying heart-whole while you do so. It's not about being walked all over. It's certainly not about having money taken from you by someone who treats you with so little respect.

So my advice is to be a bit unavailable when he comes back. Call a few shots. Be busy some nights, without him. Catch up with your girlfriends. Get out there and have some fun. Either he'll wander off to find some easier prey, in which case you are well rid of the (and yes, I know you'll shed tears if he does that to you). Or else he'll sharpen up and stop taking you for granted and start treating you with some respect.

You don't need to take that kind of s*** though. So don't.

You deserve so much better than that.

Good luck.

Ben