h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I liked the aricle - but very much written from a womans perspective...

I write this from the perspective of a married man with a mistress. My mistress was my first lover, but we broke up when I went off to University. We met years later through Friends Re-United and then had a relationship for a few months, until I discovered that my partner who I was with at the time had a chronic illness. We ended the relationship and a few years later I married my partner. We ended it because I felt I had to commit myself to my partner. It has been a very difficult time managing her illness.

My mistress then made contact again and we started to see each other. We both love each other as we have always done. I love my wife too. Yes it is possible to love two people and to find quite different things in two people - both of which can meet different needs.

Our relationship (that with my mistress) is what we describe as the 'cream on top of the milk'. We have all the fun without any of the day to day dross. We meet as when we can but it is not frequent. We live a long way away from each other, but I can travel and so can she and this suits us fine. When we meet we have lovely times - she shares interests that my wife does not.

We try to be very discreet and the last thing I want to do is to hurt my wife. Concerning her, I take care of her and try to make her feel loved and cared for. But in recent years I find my life full of so many compromises. With my mistress I feel that my life and relationships are complete.

For my mistress - she does not expect anything more than I can give to her. She values any time that we can spend together, and knows how I feel about her. She would rather me in her life than out of it. She has no other man in her life. She does not expect me to leave my wife and I have her told her that this will never happen. She knows this.

I would be interested to have opinions about this situation...

well well, we have the same situation but im a woman.. ive done also a relationship with a married man, he loves me and i felt it.. i love him very much that when were together, i dont want to talk about his wife, were just spending happy times together.. i dont even talk about to him to leave his wife or family.. thats how much i love him.. but you know what, deep inside our heart, it really hurts like a hell, I ALWAYS ASK MYSELF, WHY TO A MARRIED MAN, theres many unattached man there but why God allow me to fall in that kind of man.. Im happy but im sad, you know what i mean.. all i have to do is to hope that we will be together forever but i know thats just an illusion, impossible... ill just wait when this feeling disappear...

I AM REPLYING TO THE GENTLEMEN THAT IS CARING FOR HIS SPOUSE. I AM A PART TIME MISTRESS AND I EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR SITUATION. I AM GLAD THAT YOUR OTHER PARTNER IS HAPPY WITH THIS ARRANGEMENT. COMPLETELY, UNDERSTAND YOUR REASON FOR NOT LEAVING YOUR SPOUSE... I, TOO COULD AGREE TO SUCH AN ARRANGEMENT.

For me, it is "being a Mistress" (note the Capital M)
At 56 years of age, I awoke on my birthday in April this year, alone, in a "sheltered accomodation for the elderly or disabled over 55's" flat provided for me by my local authority as I had reached a point of no return, health and finances combined.
I lay in my speedily constructed bed and looked at the awful ceiling, and wondered how long might I actually have to live here? then I cried. Prayed. farted. sighed. (not necessarily in that order of course but ^at my age^ LOL, you will pardon the lapses of precicion)
Once up, showered, dressed in my Help The Aged rags, I took to the streets, wondering if anyone would pay 50p for a moment of my time.
Decidedly jaded with "love" and "romance" and unaccustomed as I am (was in April 07) to decent "sexual encounters of the meaningful kind" I firstly had my hair done with blonded lights (not the brassy trashy kind, just softer versions of my childhood Strawberry Blonde tresses) then bought my first-ever (honestly!!) pair of Denim jeans from Cancer Research, where the lady insisted the elasticated bits at each side of the waistband were there *only to get them over my hips*.
I took them home, elated to find myself BACK INTO a SIZE 12...after going up to a 16 in the previous year of mayhem and mayhap.(no details here folks)

Sufice it to say, this post is about being a mistress of the extra-marital kind, and I am sitting on the fence.
Why am I writing here?
WELL

From 1992 onwards I had become involved in what you could call diverse social activities. (mindful of the children, mind-police, and churchies who could be offended but explaining my Capital *M* to those with eyes to recognise) I started on the lower end of the scale.

MARRIED MEN located me, either in specific clubs, or online in very specific websites and chat-rooms, and treated me as a free source of "amusement". It cost them only a room for the night, and aid with travelling costs (particularly if I traversed the globe by Quantas and 3-hours from JFK or Newark NJ by taxi) and back!!?? (try getting the cash out of anyone AFTER the "wife is on her way, you have to go, routine!"

Why I allowed myself to stoop so very low in self-esteem and self-worth, respect for self and my body, defies logic but there WAS a reason. (not for public consumption)
I was "arm-candy" in the clubs, asked for nothing, expected worse and got better than I deserved in many cases. I put no pressure on anyone, gave better ^service^ than a wife did, and like another writer said, did not have to wash socks. However, what I DID have to suffer is another story for another venue. Not here.
I had one rule. A Golden One, which was accepted by all, and that was no vag penetration, under any circumstances. (I was not a whore/Pro)
I took no money, did nothing illegal, and cared not one jot for the wife who could not keep her man happy at home, in their marital bed.

HIS need of me was singularly NOT sexual. (I say no more here)

In the clubs I was taken to, the posh 5* hotels we dined in, I had the Social Graces of a Geisha (olde worlde style) or Courtesan, and was good "company" a discreet side dish to be devoured in private and shown-off before colleagues or clients. (but no "Escort" either)

However, my health took a dive, when I discovered said diverse acts had actually been fragmenting and crumbling my BONES over the years, and in 2001 I had to be put into the Witness Protection Scheme and hidden away, whilst the last one went to jail for what he did to me and others, primarily a 14 year old child!!

Back to this year, and awakening the self to situation beyond my control. And this thread.
I determined to "get mine" on "my own terms"
Scrolled through the men seeking ads on diverse websites of my older past self, and found to my amazement many were "looking for someone to adore, love and serve totally"
EUREKA!!!
SOLID GOLD.
As a previous writer said: wined, dined and treated like a "Lady" in public.....and under MY control sexually, and when and if I wanted.
WHY play second fiddle, when you can be the entire orchestra?

I am now the proud MISTRESS of, lover of, and common-law wife to, *fossa* my sexual 24/7 living together on my terms in his house, slave....yes I know the history that word has, but in BDSM terms, that is what we are. Mistress and slave. I of course am not into the sadism or cruelty some are. No WAY would I harm what I love and cherish! No way, would anyone get between us...but I have his love, his home and his bank account at my discretion when he is off-shore working, and his attention, devotion and sexual prowess to myself when he is home.
I do NOT abuse the trust.
I relish it.
I would never be "disloyal" or indiscreet because WE were both betrayed in our past lives, and both needed things not understood or given by his wife of 37 years, who WAS unfaithful many times, or mine of 16 years who ended up in jail for attempted murder, sodomy and rape of a minor, and GBH to several people.
WHY not have the cake and simply "nibble" at it, on your own terms, and allow him no freedom other than to go to work, or come to bed?
LOL
WE are planning to marry April 08, one year on from my worst birthday in 56 years; and are planning Xmas/NY in either New York or Paris, or being a "greedy girl" since finding my vag has someone worthy of it's time and energy, perhaps BOTH Cities...::}}
There
Public fessing-up and cleaning out the attic, once and for all time.
Be well all
fossa and Via, much in love, lust and pervery, bid you a Merry Whatzits and a very Happy and Pervy New Year.
xx