h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The researcher wrote:
"... repeated experience will overcome your fears, even if you do suffer setbacks along the way."

... but I find (after 12 months looking for a job at age 47 with great qualifications and experience) that every setback _confirms_ my fears and _decreases_ my self-confidence. Each time I try something new and fail, it shows me how few real strengths I really have. The world has left me behind. I've virtually given up hope.

Hi,

I know you made your post months ago, but I still wanted to reply.

Please don't feel like giving up - you said that when you can't do something, you focus on the fact you've failed. But what about the things you CAN and DO do? Everyday you will acomplish things, and this shouldn't go unnoticed.

I know it is easier said than done, and I get that completely. Like you, I suffer from very low confidence and self-esteem. I am my own worst critic, and am quick to point out my failings and gloss over my successes. I'm a teacher, and something I always tell my class is 'Don't be afraid to make mistakes'. I don't want them to worry when they can't do something or understand something right away, because actually our mistakes are what we learn from, plus they make achieving what we want to achieve all the better

I'm trying hard to follow my own advice - again like yourself I have been job-hunting, and after every rejection and after I've moped for a bit, I tried to think of what I can take from the interviews to improve on next time. Eventually I found a job, and I genuinely don't think I would have if I'dd continued to focus on the bad rather than the good, even the good were far and few between. Life is a series of lessons; every hurdle and fall only makes you stronger.

I really hope you haven't given up, and I hope that somewhere in my rambling I might have been a help.