h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When you lack self-esteem and confidence it is reflected in your body language. Your body is influenced by your mind and vice versa. When you are feeling insecure, pull your shoulders back, lift your head up, distribute your weight evenly, focus on breathing slowly and releasing the tension in your muscles. By maintaining a relaxed, open posture you are showing everyone that you are extremely confident, you will also find that you begin to feel it as your emotions start to reflect your physical self. The more this is practised, the more natural it becomes and you have to think less and less about it. The combination of 'tricking' your brain through your body posture, and the positive reactions you will get from other people, will help to build your confidence permanently.

Confidence is linked to assertiveness. You need to acquire skills to enable you to cope with the tricky situations that knock your self-esteem. A book I have found invaluable is 'A Woman In Your Own Right' by Anne Dickson. Dickson looks at very ordinary situations and how they can be improved. The reader is encouraged to examine their own lives, identify their problem areas and move on to find practical resolutions.

Focus on the positive. It is unlikely that you lack confidence or self-esteem in every aspect of your life. Identify areas you are confident in, congratulate yourself, and then analyse how you achieved confidence in these parts of your life. Use the same skills to develop confidence in the areas you feel are lacking it.