h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't think that there is an easy solution for low self esteem, and I should know, because I spent much of my early years and early adulthood squarely in low-self esteem land. It was difficult to have high self-esteem as a teenager or a student, because so much of my life was spent learning, and so little of it was spend actually doing something, or applying my knowledge for the benefit of others. I was very quiet, somewhat serious and studious, so my circle of friends was small, and I really did feel terribly unsure of myself in social situations. I think esteem comes with age and experience, when you realise that you know as much, if not *more* than others sometimes, and that people look to you for information and assistance. There's no better tonic for low self-esteem than the feeling that people need you and care about you, and I think it is worthwhile finding a group of people who respect you for what you are, and are interested in what you are interested in, even if it might not necessarily be the "coolest" thing in the world.

What helped me in college was to join a public speaking group, Toastmasters, where I was encouraged to talk in public about different subjects, and to develop speeches on subjects of interest to me. It was a very supportive environment, and it really helped me to come out of my shell.

Woodpigeon

For me, friends are the most important thing in life.. well except for food, air, and that kind of stuff.

I always feel at my happiest when meeting/talking with friends, and at my lowest when no-ones around.

despite that, however, i consider myself to be bit of a loner! i live alone, and don't really mind my own company for extended periods of time, even on holidays. However, if i suddenly didn't have pals to break up the monotony of my own company, well, lets just say a padded cell would be required.

I thnk we are all creatures that require, damn near constant stroking of our egos- we all like to feel important to someone else.

Without companionship, madness looms large. How many mass murderers have you heard of with large social circles !?

Just thought i'de share some rantings with you- enjoyed your posting. It's late- i'm off to bed ...alone !! Do enjoy the uninterupted sleep though- see a loner at heart!

Hi winnoc,

Yes, good point, and I think it is always a balance. Some people like being alone a lot, while others crave company the whole time, but everybody needs company at least some of the time. Its that introvert - extrovert thing, I think. There are very few true loners around. Perpetual lonliness is a real pain in the ass. I am quite introverted, but if there was nobody around at least some of the time I would go loo-lah .

Cheers,

Woodpigeon

It's been argued that people not only want company they actually physically require it. Otherwise their minds go all wrong.

They did tests on primates and when totally deprived of all contact with other chimps or people for extended periods of time they just sit there rocking back and forth.

That sounds about right..i suppose from an evolutionary point of view, if mr caveman sits around on his own all day, not only is he not going to mate with anything, but he isn't going to learn much, from other beings' experiences either; "So that furry cat like thing over there... yeah the one with big sharp teeth.. can i catch that with my bare hands, and eat it?"
Loners would soon be naturally selected of the face of the earth !