Pubes
Created | Updated Nov 15, 2004
Not many people know what Pubic hairs are for. These are just a few possible uses...
1: Soap Protect (tm). That's right folks, sick of people using YOUR soap.. the solution
is here, sprinkle a few pubes on and nobody will dare touch it!
2: Temporary plug replacement. Lost the plug to your bath or sink? Then help is at hand, you can soon block it with our new ultra dense pubic hair mesh.
3: Americans use a lot of dental floss, what a waste of money! Just unravel a pube and it's the perfect thickness, trust me I speak from right hand experience. Pubic floss will change your life forever.
4: Going bald? What are you waiting for, just glue your pubes onto your head and say you've had a perm. It's the ideal solution and you're in safe knowledge that no matter how much pubic hair you farm there will ALWAYS be more!
5: Need to buy some fags or beer and you're underage? Fear not, Pubic hair glued to your face is FAR more realistic than any product you can buy over the counter, trust me.. I bought a bottle of Vodka when I was 5 years old just by taking the pubic hair out of my bath and gluing it to my face, the result was the most convincing bearded midget you've never seen!
6: Packaging. Just think of all the harm we are doing to the environment by using plastic bubble wrap and Polystyrene.. we don't need to! There is a perfectly good natural, organic solution. Pubic Hair!
7: Why not stick them in a pie or something that you know will be eaten by someone you don't like. Warning: Pubic Hair can, if taken in sufficient quantities, choke and maim you and your offspring. Please read the instructions before using Pubic Hair.
8: Replace bombs with Pubes. It's simple really, if the long pubic hairs had some kind of sticky solution on them (answers on a postcard!) if dropped over enemy territory the hairs would immobilise the whole area. Think about it, nothing can break through tangled up pubes, a tank wouldn't stand a chance.
1: Soap Protect (tm). That's right folks, sick of people using YOUR soap.. the solution
is here, sprinkle a few pubes on and nobody will dare touch it!
2: Temporary plug replacement. Lost the plug to your bath or sink? Then help is at hand, you can soon block it with our new ultra dense pubic hair mesh.
3: Americans use a lot of dental floss, what a waste of money! Just unravel a pube and it's the perfect thickness, trust me I speak from right hand experience. Pubic floss will change your life forever.
4: Going bald? What are you waiting for, just glue your pubes onto your head and say you've had a perm. It's the ideal solution and you're in safe knowledge that no matter how much pubic hair you farm there will ALWAYS be more!
5: Need to buy some fags or beer and you're underage? Fear not, Pubic hair glued to your face is FAR more realistic than any product you can buy over the counter, trust me.. I bought a bottle of Vodka when I was 5 years old just by taking the pubic hair out of my bath and gluing it to my face, the result was the most convincing bearded midget you've never seen!
6: Packaging. Just think of all the harm we are doing to the environment by using plastic bubble wrap and Polystyrene.. we don't need to! There is a perfectly good natural, organic solution. Pubic Hair!
7: Why not stick them in a pie or something that you know will be eaten by someone you don't like. Warning: Pubic Hair can, if taken in sufficient quantities, choke and maim you and your offspring. Please read the instructions before using Pubic Hair.
8: Replace bombs with Pubes. It's simple really, if the long pubic hairs had some kind of sticky solution on them (answers on a postcard!) if dropped over enemy territory the hairs would immobilise the whole area. Think about it, nothing can break through tangled up pubes, a tank wouldn't stand a chance.
