h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My wife and I attended a Shakespeare play recently, sat near a woman whose cell phone went off repeatedly during the performance, playing some obnoxious tune. I felt like Texas singer/songwriter Steve Fromholz, who also runs a river tour on the Rio Grande. At night, he provides the entertainment for the group, while probably outdrinking most of them. At the insistence of the audience during a concert, he told the story of a mechanical dancing monkey on one tour, which danced the Macarena while playing its own music - during his songs. Steve did a little imitation of the dance while grumbling "dancing macarena ... f*****g macarena". In the end, the mechanical monkey ended up WAY out in the river, propelled by a Fromholz toss.

The concert audience gave Steve a stuffed monkey with a note, "This is the first Christmas I've spent without Mom ..." I thought he would bust a gut laughing.

And you didn't slap her.

*pauses incredulously, while this idea sinks in my tiny brain*

?Why?

The Fromholz approach has more appeal to me ... maybe if there had been a river nearby ...

Could have been doing with some of that when I went to see Spider-man...

We were just getting into the fantastic opening credits when this woman's phone went off. She then proceeded to have a conversation about what bottle of wine she'd buy for dinner, started blethering away and completely ignored our demands she turn that f***ing phone off. Just as I was going to get up and shove the thing up her arse, she hung up. Just as well.

yeah, it really sucks when people forget to switch off their mobile phones when going to the cinema.

You're just settling down, and then MEEP MEEP! MEEP MEEP!

But stuff happens - as long as you feel guilty for it!