I'm Scottish, and to me I talk complete sense...and most of the time I do, but from time to time I've found people don't have a clue what the hell I'm talking about.

So, I've decided, now's the time to jot some of them down and make sure I don't sound like a loon more than I need to

I hope it helps.

THE DUMMIES GUIDE TO SCOTS FOR THE GUIDE

Scots isn't an odd, perculiar or difficult language to understand, it's not that we make up nonsense words for things (which we have on some occassions) it's more to do with the pronouncation of the words, and since the pronouncation changes so does the spelling. I hope this helps people for when us Scots talk jibberish, especially about the Scottish Exams.

A

Ach - an expression of surprise, disgust or resignation

Aff - off or from

Aye - I

Auld - old

Awfy - awful or very

B

Backie - piggie back

Baffie - slipper

Bairn - baby or young child

Baith - both

Bauldie - someone with a very short haircut

Bawface - a round face

Beamer - blush or red face caused by embarraament or guilt

Bevvy - a drink

Bide - to live there

Billy - a friend or workmate; someone without mates or an informal name for a Protestant

Bing - large hill-like mound of waste from mines or quarries

Blether - chatter

Blootered - very drunk

Bonnie - attractive

Brae - hillside

Brambell - blackberry

Breeks - trousers

Burn - stream

C

Canna - cannot

Canny - nice, lucky

Cauld - cold

Chiel - lad or young man

Chuddie - chewing gum

Clan - group or family

Clarty - dirty mess

Clype - tell tale

Coo - cow

CSYS - Certificate of Sixth Year Studies (now Advanced Highers) roughly equivilant to A Levels

Cutty sark - short skirt

D

Daftie - foolish

Dee - to die

Ding - to strike

Dug - a dog

Dunt - blow or a thump

Dwan - stupor or daydream

E

Erse - arse

EIS - Educational Intitute of Scotland

F

Fa - fall

Fae - from

Fair - very

Faither - father

Feart - feard

Firth - large inlet of sea

Flair - floor

Flee fly

Fling - vigorous dance

Flit - to move house

Flooer - flower

Footer - fiddly, twitchy

G

Gadgie - man, lad or chap more offensively used to describe someone who's a little weird

Gae - to go

Gie - to give

Gin - poetic word meaning if

Ginger - any fizzy drink

Green - grassy area attached to a house or buildinf, a shared garden

Grippie - mean with money etc (The Scots are famously tight with money)

Gub - mouth

Guiser - a person dressed up at halloween

Guttered - drun

H

Hackit - ugly

Hae - have

Haggis - generally tastes nice but never ask what's in it

Haud - to hold

Haver - talk nonsense

Heid - head

Hen - informal address to a woman or girl

Higher - Exams or quialification, taken at the end of 5th year (16-17 years of age) not as advanced asA Levels but generally Scottish students sit more Highers in a wider range of subjects than elsewhere in Britain

Hogmanay - new years eve

Hoose - house

I

Irn-Bru - popular orange soft drink, popular hangover cure, very nice, very sweet and very strange

J

Jag - to prick

Jannie - school janitor

Jessie - a weak or cowardly man

Jiggered - tired out

Jimmy - inormal name given to a bloke

K

Keek - to peep

Keeker - black eye

Kelpie - water spirit

Ken - to know

Kirk - church

Kye - cow

L

Laddie - young man

Laird - lord

Lament - slow sad song, usually in mourning for a death

Lassie - young girl

Law - hill

Lib - castrate (watch it lads)

Loch - lake

Lochan - small lake

Loon - boy or lad

Loupin - throbbing or extremely sore

Lug - ear

M

Ma - my

Mair - more

Maist - most

Malt - whiskey

Mannie - man

Masel (pronounced ma-sell) - myself

Midden - where dustbins are kept

Ming - unpleasant stong smell

Mingin - yuck

Minky - dirty or disgusting

Moose - mouse

Mooth - mouth

Muckle - large

N

Neck - a bootle of beer not poured into the glass

Neep - turnip

Ned - young hooligan

Nessie - loch ness monster

Neuk (nyook) - nook or corner

Nidger - to bug continuously ("Go on, go on, go on, go on, GO ON!")

Nicht - night

Nip - nagging

Nowt - nothing

Numpty - idiot

O

Och - expression of surprise, contempt, annoyance, impatience or disagreement

Offie - off-licence

Outwith - beyond

Oxter - armpit

P

Peace - remain still

Pawkie - dry sense of humour

Peely-wally - pale, ill looking

Peewit - lapwing

Petted lip - bottom lip stuck out

Pish - piss

Plouter - fiddle

Postie - post person

Q

Quair - a book

Quine - young unmarried woman

R

Ragie - wo act in a crazy manner

Rammy - a noisy fight or a brawl

Rasp - raspberry

Rector - school head master

Reek - to give off smoke or to smell strongly

S

Sang - a song

Sark - mans shirt

SCE - scottish certificate of education

Scooby - to no nothing

Scoor - to clean something vicourously

Scoosh - squirt

Scud - slap

Scuddie - naked

Scunner - feeling of disgust or loathing

S***e - s**t

Shoogle - to shake

Skelf - splinter

Skelp - smack

Slitter - messy eater

Snib - bolt or catch on a door or window

Spev - to walk quickly

Stammygaster - shock or unpleasant surprise

Standard Grades - basic level od SCE exams

Stoat - to bounce

Stookie - plaster cast

T

Telt - told

Thole - endure

Totie - very small

U

Unco - very or extremely, strange or unfamiliar

V

Vennel - lane or alley

W

Wabbit - tired, run down

Wean - very young child

Wee - little or small

Y

Yatter - chatter

Yin - one

Youse - you lot