h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, well, a bloke friend of mine was relentlessly tormenting a good female friend of mine, accusing her of a 'widescreen behind' (which she hasn't as she's a size 10, but some people are never content).

Anyhow, he then topped off his barrage with 'ah, but ladies, wouldn't you like the male model that is me?'

To which I replied - 'male model for who? Lurpak?'

Which shut him up pronto.

You would have thought that would have learnt him... but oh no...

A few weeks later, he was doing exactly the same thing to the same person, and the conversation turned to horses - to which I asked 'well, is there any difference between him and a horse?'

To which she replied - 'yeah - a horse is well hung!'

Also, one from my distant past - some boys on the school bus were really getting on my nerves, so in a flash of fury I shouted at them;

'Do you know what a condom is?'

To which they all said, 'well, yeah...'

And I shouted back; 'Well, it's a f*****g shame your dad didn't!'

hmm, I didn't get the 'Lurpak' thing.

As to the 'condom'... ouch!

Ah - Lurpak is a brand of lard here in the UK, which is probably why he shut up pretty pronto

Cheers Bossel

* looks up 'lard' *











oooooouch