The Post Horror Scope
Created | Updated Mar 6, 2002
So I am all packed ready to be off to Crufts, my favourite doggie show but, of course, I couldn't go without leaving you, my faithful followers, a little peak into what is to come for you in the future. It takes a lot out of me predicting through my various mediums as I do, so I will be having a little rest in the coming week. Hopefully I plan to have a Horror Scope ready in time for next week's The Post but, if the Mists of Fate fail to part for me next week, then I do hope you will all forgive me.
I am quite willing to answer all questions and queries regarding this subject and, if wanted, I can help with problems from researchers via e-mail. Due to time restrictions I cannot reply to each individual e-mail personally, but will give the answer to your problems on the Horror Scope page. Please send your letters and queries to me Mystic Greebs.
The Horror Scope is divided rather neatly up into twelve sections, January through to December, and you will be able to tell which section you fall under by looking to the day you joined h2g2.
For those of you with limited understanding, I will explain further. If you joined h2g2 on the 25th April 2001, then your section will be April and you can read your future under that section heading.
JANUARY
Exciting things are happening around you at the moment, sometimes its hard to take it all in. But remember not to close your eyes, or you will end up bumping into things.
FEBRUARY
A man dressed in black arrived at your door last Monday to talk to you about the UFO you saw last week. He held a pen in front of you and you forget all about it, of course me reminding you of it will mean that a man dressed in black will arrive at your door shortly.
MARCH
A friend in need is a friend indeed... The Tiddlywinks show me that a friend is in trouble, show your support, do not condemn. Remember a watched kettle never boils, and the grass is always greener on the other side.
APRIL
A mode of transport will feature large in your life this week, the fogs of time do not reveal in what context. A visit to the doctors is on the cards for you, don't worry, it will be nothing serious.
MAY
The scales of justice reveal that you are fretting about the weight that you have put on since last year, it is time to do something about it. Exercise is good for the mind and the spirit, and definately good for the figure.
JUNE
The Whingy Board has an urgent message for you from a friends, daughters, bed ridden companion. 'Do not challenge the Gate Keeper or you will drown in the big marshmallow man.'
JULY
The Tarot Cards reveal that you will embark on a crusade on Wednesday, something you have long thought about will come to fruition. Remember to think of yourself whilst you are helping others, take time to rest, or you will become one of the ones needing help.
AUGUST
Someone with a problem on h2g2 will rely on your wisdon to help them sort it out. A large monkey in frilly knickers will surprise you on Sunday, expect the unexpected!!!
SEPTEMBER
A cold wind blowing from Uranus is telling you to eat more healthily in the future. Someone with the letter 'G' in their name requires something beginning with 'D'. Do not let them down.
OCTOBER
I suspect that something good will happen to you this weekend, the bones revealed a portal of light heading you way. It will be futile to resist.
NOVEMBER
A confrontation with a member of the opposite sex will occur this week. Do not back down, you are in the right. An airplane falling onto your house shows that you forgot to turn off the landing light again.
DECEMBER
Jealousy rears its ugly, green head at the end of the week. Try to keep calm and think clearly, throwing a tantrum will not help anyone, and will show you in a bad light.
DISCLAIMER
As we all know fortune telling is not an exact science, so Greebo T. Cat, The Post and indeed h2g2
cannot be held responsible for anything printed in The Horror Scope that is not one hundred percent
truthful. To be honest, I think you should all be jolly happy if one percent of the predictions come
true.
This statement in no way refutes Ms Cat's mystical gifts. So there!!!
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Mystic Greebs
