A Conversation for Dealing with Being Dumped
here we go...
bolderdash Started conversation Dec 7, 2009
Alright for being 20 years old i do consider myself somewhat of a knowledgeable male in the field of love. However I just had my heart literally DESTROYED 4 days ago by my best friend / soul mate.
Lets back it up...
we'd only been together for 3 and a half months but we spent a very healthy amount of time together and I don't mean healthy as in everyday. The problem with our relationship was that she had just had her heart and soul completely destroyed a month before we began seeing each other and she never took the proper time to grieve and get over it. From the beginning I had been open with presenting my fears of feeling very little security because as amazing as we were together she would always have some sort of wall which she never learned to break down. She was to afraid of being hurt like she had been. So basically it got to the point where she would act like my gf and be intense with me for a day or two at a time and then she would freak out and act oddly for the next 2 days. Needless to say this greatly upset me. Perhaps I was selfish in trying to change her and convince her I wouldnt hurt her.... how the hell could she trust me after having the love of her life completely bail on her and from 2,000 miles away over the phone out of the blue. I can definitely see why this happened and am in the process of coming to terms. The problem I am having is that I still want an opportunity to love her and develop the relationship that I've been yearning for my entire life. Even while we were breaking it off she was telling me that nothing hasd changed and that she still felt strongly for me but that she just couldnt give me any more than she was and that it was hurting her to not be able to give me more. I was devastated, walked home in the rain and bought a ticket to kansas from boston and bailed to cry to my best friend. I want so much to be friends with her and i feel like i need her in my life but im just in too much pain right now. I also have conflicting feelings because i know that she is also in great pain and that she never wanted this and if she could open up and have a real relationship and the timing was right she would have. I started as a rebound that turned into something very much real and I'm sure very frightening for her. Now we are both licking our wounds and i know that im miserable and Im assuming she is. Starcrossed lovers from the start and Im doing all i can to get over it however a part of me doesnt want too. I want us to get back together in a healthy environment in which she is ready and able to give her heart to me. Am I praying in vein? all thoughts welcome.
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here we go...
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