h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...meaning that I'm often bitter and cynical and feel pained watching people in love.

Blah, that was depressing. I can't think of anything witty to lighten the mood, though.

Well you did lighten the mood, dear. I thought your post was going to be something soppy and depressing for the rest of us who are actually in the same position as you and I almost didn't open it! At least I can relate to bitterness and cynicism.

You know, I was actually afraid of that very thing. Hopefully everyone who reads the header will be as brave as you.

How come you're bitter and cynical? Details of others pain helps me cope.

Having an unusual personality type that reduces one's chances of finding anyone compatible (and, of course, unattached) to a level vastly below that of virtually everyone else can have that sort of effect.

So can the sheer tackiness of Valentine's Day. The only way I can think of in which it relates to genuine love is as a sort of endurance test: a couple's affections would have to be reasonably strong to survive the day. However, the supercilious satisfaction that comes from standing aloof does not solve the problem described in paragraph one; rather, it reinforces the impression of isolation.

People who think of love in terms of heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, to be required on a particular day of the year, have my sympathy, yes; but they are also objects of my cynical despair. Particularly since there are an awful lot of them.

Cynic, n. A romantic with experience.

As a single guy, ruminating alone on Valentine's Day, I think back on all the previous Valentine's that I spent while I was with someone.

Regardless of how I felt about whomever the lady might have been at the time, I can't remember ever being excited simply because Feb. 14th rolled around; If anything, it was one more damn present I had to buy (not to mention that my birthday is 2 days later - people are supposed to be buying ME presents around now, dammit!).

Not that I'm not a romantic, but I just didn't particularly feel any more in love on that day than I had on the 13th; it's just a day. If the person I was with seemed to feel strongly about it, I went out of my way to make it special, but it just wasn't that meaningful to me, which is why I guess I don't mind being alone on Valentine's day. Then again, I am ruminating...

Honestly, where to start. I guess it would be sophmore year of college. I had sent a letter expressing my undying devotion to the object of my freshman year crush during the summer before sophmore year. Having been unaware of my existance previous to that declaration, he was at a loss to respond appearantly and never did. More skillful persons might have responded by developing social skills but for me, bitterness and cynicism were the only logical self protection from the resulting utter humiliation when I returned to school.

I'd be curious to know what you use now; I hope it's still not bitterness & cynicism. Then again better that than murder and frog-stomping. Or arson and animal husbandry..at the same time.

Hellboundforjoy - that's tough. How old are you? Have you managed to recover enough to make a stab at other relationships? (I like how my romance metaphors are violent ones.)

For myself, I've been too scared to even really try. I'm much better at flirting and talking to the opposite sex, but I'm more at ease w/ someone I know is attached (ergo, I don't have to worry about following through and being rejected).

As for this year's Valentine - it turned out to be a good day, actually. I woke up hyper and in a good mood in spite of myself. My best friend snuck V cookies into my apartment while I was at work, then after work I went over to her house and she dyed my hair blonde. Now, she and her love puppet (and I mean that with the utmost respect) are out to supper. Sure, I'd love to have my very own Jason Done , but I am loved.

I am a little concerned at the blondeness of my hair, however...

That should read, "I'm much better and flirting...than I used to be..."

Sigh.

RFJS - re: having an unusual personality -

Testify! I get mad sometimes because I see so many people who I deem unworthy (I also suffer from a wee touch of arrogance and entitlement) happy and w/ a companion. My friends tell me these people's standards are lower so I shouldn't beat myself up about it. But, I figure, if they get what they want, why can't I? I don't know if that makes any sense. Blargh. Stupid happy people.

Well now I'm doing quite nicely with hard liquor, thanks. (see drinking thread)

OK, that was almost 20 years ago, so I have recovered and stabbed at other relationships since. (psycho music ). I know what you mean by being too scared to try, though. I have managed to have relationships but it has always been terrifying. I hope it gets better for you.

I'm glad your V-day turned out OK. I got heart shaped cookies from an attached girlfriend too. That was nice.

(who's Jason Done )

"stupid, happy people" lol!

He's a British actor I have a passionate crush on.

I'm glad you recovered enough to stab again.

As for it getting better for me, I've developed quite a tasty phobia. The only thing to do about it is to bite the bullet, fake it 'till I make it, and various other cliched but true, well, cliches.

Attached girlfriends are good at making cookies, aren't they?

I wish I could find an attached girlfriend that was good at making cookies. Then again, who am I to be picky at this point...

I don't drink, so I don't have that option when I get upset or down (not that I don't have other bad habits ), but I guess I just try and keep things in perspective. If I like myself enough (and by most accounts I do), then someone else is bound to think I'm as great as I do eventually, right? Right? Buehller? Buehller?

(performs google and imdb searches) Oh, that Jason Done. I never did see the English Patient.

That's what I have, a phobia! Thus bitterness and cynicism are a front for the phobia for me. I wish you luck with that and hope it doesn't stay with you until you're my age!

Redstar2112:

That's what I keep telling myself. People must have acutely sensitive self-loathing detectors, however.

(Pauses. Considers not acting pathetic, then decides to embrace patheticness)
So(kicks rock to communicate disinterested, non-pathetic air), you've heard of Jason Done? What have you heard? Is he married? Is he attached? Do you think we have a chance?!? (Regains composure, smooths down lapel, resumes disinterested, yet flushed pose of before.)
I never saw the English Patient, either. If it's not good enough for Elaine Bennis, it's not good enough for me.

Yes, my phobia is a very bad habit. It's something that sucked, but quickly became more comfortable for me than risk. Not a good way to live or conduct oneself.

Nothing that not good enough for Elaine Benes is good enough for me! Elaine is like a perscription written to me from God; she's sassy, she's cut, she has an attitude, and I love it when she shoves guys & says "get out!". Makes me go all aflutter...