Over the next few weeks I will be working on the story 'The End of Space'. Each week there will be another few paragraphs or another chapter appearing in The Post. I will try new ideas here before I put them in the post. Any constructive criticism is welcome. Thank You.

This is the story so far:

The spaceship Bravado got nearer and nearer to the edge of space. The captain, Captain Jim Jiggle looked out of his window. He could see nothing, as there was nothing to see. He was at the edge of everything. At the edge, of the place of no return. The reason the spaceship Bravado was at the edge of space was because the whole crew wanted to escape the existing space. Here is the crew of the spaceship Bravado and the reasons why they want to escape the space:

Captain Jim Jiggle: Is allergic to the most popular food in space - PIZZA. Hopes that beyond space there is a place that hates, PIZZA.

Science Officer John Smith: Fed up of people everywhere saying 'Is that really your name?'. Hopes that beyond space there is a place where the name John Smith has never been heard before, and he will be UNIQUE.

GORDAN: A ROBOT. Has a secret agenda that will become obvious as the story develops.

That is the crew of the spaceship Bravado. This small crew stole this spaceship when Captain Jim Jiggle, who was a real captain before this incident, declared it as a health risk. What they don't know is that there is a stowaway on board their stolen spaceship. This stowaway will be revealed later in the story.

At this moment in time, the spaceship Bravado is on the edge of space, and right next to the last planet in space. This planet is called NEW EARTH. It has the largest military force in space, and it has been informed that the stolen spaceship Bravado is in their area. This isn't the first time that they've had to deal with people escaping from space, but not even they could predict what was going to happen, NEXT!

New Earth has ¾ of its surface covered with military installations containing more starfighters then anyone can count. The other ¼ of the planet is covered by water, where there are secret underwater military forces that collect information and spy on the rest of space. They used their surveillance techniques to track the spaceship Bravado from the moment it was stolen to the present time.

It was raining on New Earth. Raining. Not your basis rain, that splashes on the ground and causes small puddles in the road, but heavy rain. Rain that causes the sea to get too large and cover the land. Torrential rain.

The Land was flooded. Water was everywhere. In fact, you couldn’t move without getting your socks wet. The reason for this is unknown to the people of New Earth. However, this does not in any way effect the military action being taken against the spaceship Bravado. Right at this very moment, 5000 starfighters have been sent to intercept and destroy the spaceship Bravado.

Captain Jim Jiggle looked out the window. To be exact, he is still looking out his window. He was once a young, fit, muscular man, but not anymore. His muscle has been replace with fat and his youth has been replaced with old age. He isn’t a plump man, he just isn’t thin. He has short, dark, brown hair and blue eyes. At this very moment he is doing what he has been doing for the last half-hour; enjoying the nothingness. Most people wouldn’t enjoy this, but if the whole of ‘The Best Fast Food Directory’, ‘The Best Food Directory’, ‘The Most Popular Foods in Space Directory’, ‘The Yellow Pages of Space’, and ‘Space is just One Large Pizza Made by Pizza Bar’ are full of nothing but Pizza and telephone numbers you should phone if you want Pizza, and if you didn’t like Pizza, then you’d enjoy nothing too.

Gordan scrubbed his back. He was in the shower scrubbing his back. Only he knows the reason why, although it is probably because his back was dirty. Still, the reason a ROBOT is having a shower is unknown. His name is also a mystery. His name was supposed to be GORDON, but because of a typing error when he was created, his very, very tiny name tag, which is imprinted onto the microchip that powers him, reads GORDAN. There are a lot of strange things about this special machine.

Science Officer John Smith was in his cabin, reading some old, tatty comics. He loved comics. He had them all. ‘The Aliens of Delta 3’, ‘The Dinosaurs that Left Earth and went to Delta 3’, and even ‘The Aliens of Delta 3 Versus The Dinosaurs that Left Earth and went to Delta 3’. The only comic in known space that he doesn’t have is ‘The Aliens of Delta 3 Team Up With The Dinosaurs that Left Earth and went to Delta 3 Versus Delta 3’s own, John Smith’. He used to have it, but once he’d had enough of Space he wanted to get rid of anything that he had that read John Smith. So he burnt it. Of course, if he had tried to sell it he would have made 3, 642, 784, 265, 573, 683, 658, 214, 951, 465, 001 Krutons, which is equal to 1392 Billion Pounds. A Billion as in 1 million multiplied by 1 thousand. He could have then used his money to buy the spaceship Bravado and then there would not be any opposition to them leaving.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The 5000 starfighters fired their weapons. Of course, you wouldn't normally hear this sound, as sound cannot travel in space. However, each lazer, phazer, pistol, revolver, bomb, nuclear bomb, torpedo, photon torpedo, nuclear torpedo, nuclear photon torpedo, quantum torpedo, quantum photon torpedo, quantum nuclear photon torpedo, and any other weapon on the 5000 starfighters, contain a radio that sends out the BOOM! sound every time it is fired. This doesn't matter outside space as sound travels normally.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! They wouldn’t stop their onslaught for anything. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The weapons fired at an incredible rate. BOOM! BOOM! BO- The spaceship Bravado, and the 5000 starfighters, were no more.

In one small room, in one small house, in one small country, on one small planet, in one small solar system, in one small galaxy, in one small universe, on one extremely large fabric of space, someone very, very meaningless to the rest of space, told a joke. A blonde joke to be exact. This is it:

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?


A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

Between the sound of laughter, the small voice of an unbelievably blonde small girl echoed throughout the room.

“HOW RUDE!” was the sarcastic comment that came from the small mouth, of an unbelievably blonde small girl, in a small room, in a small house, in a small country, on a small planet, in a small solar system, in a small galaxy, in a small universe, on an extremely large fabric of space. This comment on the joke, that was said by someone who is absolutely meaningless to the rest of space, was not meaningless, and had a significant effect on a spaceship far, far away from the almost totally meaningless planet, of EARTH.

The spaceship Bravado, registration WAAABOB was very far away from this planet. WAAABOB stood for ‘We Are All Absolutely Brilliant On Boats’. Once the spaceship Bravado was stolen, the amazing Captain Jim Jiggle changed the registration to WLOACJJ, which stood for ‘We Love Our Amazing Captain Jim Jiggle’, so that nobody would recognise their spaceship as the stolen spaceship Bravado. However, as a practical joke Gordan, who should NOT have a sense of humour, changed the registration back to WAAABOB. This time however, it stood for ‘We Are All A Bunch Of B******s’. This of course immediately gave their spaceship away as the stolen spaceship Bravado. Was this a secret attack from Gordan against the rest of the crew, or was this really just a practical joke?

‘PIZZA!’ The sound of this made Captain Jim Jiggle immediately jump under his desk, take of his trousers, take of his white pants, which now had an unmistakable brown mark over them, put his trousers back on, put his white pants on a stick, and hold them up screaming ‘I surrender, I surrender!’ What Captain Jim Jiggle didn’t realise was that the sound came from the intercom so there was no point for him to have held his white and brown pants up screaming at absolutely nobody except Gordan. Gordan had been there all along. He had watched what Jim Jiggle had done, and had made a note that Jim Jiggle had got extremely small private parts. This didn’t matter however, as Jim Jiggle would never use them anyway.

‘PIZZA!’ The message was repeated and, as before, Jim Jiggle immediately jumped under his desk, took of his white trousers, which were now brown trousers, put them on a stick and started screaming at Gordan again. This time, Gordan made a note that Jim Jiggle’s private parts had got smaller. He immediately made the deduction that Jim Jiggle did this thing a lot, and that his private parts got smaller each time he did it. He was of course, wrong. The real reason was that Jim Jiggle’s private parts had always been small, they were just smaller this time because Science Officer John Smith had just walked in and was looking at them at this very moment. The reason for this is unknown

Science Officer John Smith answered the intercom. ’Hello Power In Zup Zup Army, how are you today?’ A woman appeared on the screen. A hot, beautiful, tall, large breasted blonde was right in front of Jim Jiggle’s eyes. The woman was naked, and was not on the screen but on the ship. She was a stowawy. John Smith quickly grabbed a blanket and tried to cover her with it, but she wouldn't let him. She acted primitive and kept repeating the word 'Pure!' As John Smith fought with the naked blonde, Jim Jiggle was more interested with the woman on the screen.

The woman who was on the screen was not naked. She was fat and extremely ugly. However, like the John Smith, she also looked at Jim Jiggle’s private parts. In fact, the first thing she said once she had appeared on the screen was ‘Hey small dick, is this ship stolen?’
Captain Jim Jiggle was in shock after this comment, and replied with the answer, ’No!’
‘Oh,’ replied the ugly woman and stopped the sound attack on the spaceship Bravado in mid-BOOM! As mentioned earlier each weapon on the starfighters contains a radio that gives out the BOOM sound to opposing ships. What wasn’t mentioned was that the weapons didn’t contain any ammo, and since the spaceship Bravado’s radio was broken they felt and heard absolutely nothing.

It was at the point that the effects of ‘HOW RUDE!’ took place on the spaceship Bravado. At the exact same time that the 5000 starfighters stopped BOOMING a large sound and vision bubble covered the spaceship Bravado and 4999 starfighters. One of the starfighters, the one with the women that Jim Jiggle loved in it, was destroyed. Jim Jiggle didn’t care however, as he didn’t care who died as long as it wasn’t him, so he put on the shields that stop a sound and vision bubble destroying you. Then, the whole crew was knocked out.

When the crew woke up, they found themselves in totally different places. The reason for this is unknown.

John Smith and the naked blonde's location is unknown.

Jim Jiggle found himself in his own bed doing nothing. After about half an hour of this he got bored and had a shower. Gordan watched.

Earth is a blue and green planet that is in a solar system somewhere. It is mainly blue. There are blue seas, blue skies, blue policemen, blue cars, blue towels, blue toothbrushes, blue pencils and blue shirts. What is so weird about this is that God hates blue. Not many people realise this, but the reason Earth has so many wars and is full of pollution and everything is because God can’t stand the place. The only reason that God made most of the planet blue is because that was Adam’s favourite colour. When Eve was created, her favourite colour was green so God made some of the world green for her. Later on, God made a last ditch attempt to the people of Earth to change their favourite colour by sending his son Jesus Christ to tell everyone what his favourite colour was. Unfortunately, before he could tell anyone what God’s favourite colour was, they crucified him. So, God and his son left Earth forever, but not, however, without leaving their messenger, the Holy Spirit, to inform them of what was happening.
This has absolutely nothing to do with this story.

The fire burned brightly over the ship, and engulfed it. As the ship burned away into nothingness, the fire moved on.

"That's another one gone." said John Smith as he watched the destruction around him.

"PURE!" screamed the blonde as she saw the destruction around her.

"You know it's your fault, don't you?" asked Jim Jiggle as the fire moved on once more.

"Yes, I do." was the reply that came from John Smith.

The crew of the spaceship do not know it, but they are no longer in space. They are in the space bubble that surrounded them, and this space bubble took them out of space and into the unknown. In this unknown, they have no chance to survive. the fire will, eventually reach them, and they will be destroyed!

Gordan hopped. This is pretty amazing since Gordan was never programmed to hop, but he did anyway. None of the crew of the Spaceship Bravado actually know why he can hop, that he can hop, or that he actually exists. It is a common fact known by nobody that if you don't pay any notice to someone for a long amount of time, say a day, then they begin to disappear. After about a week of this they disappear completely, and become invisible. Once you are invisible you can do lots of different things, like walk through walls and listen in on private conversations and cause trouble. As you may have guessed by now, Gordan is not invisible. He would be but there was one thing that didn't ignore him: The Radio.

Jim Jiggle just loves the radio. He has it on all the time. He also did something special to it. He made it give a special welcome to everyone onboard, something it did anyway. So every morning the radio shouts 'And let me give a BIG welcome to everyone on the spaceship Bravado, who at this moment are somewhere very scary and horrible: a horrible scary place.' The reason that Gordan wanted to be invisible (if you don't know Gordan did actually want to be invisible): unknown.

There was a short silence all over the spaceship Bravado, a large light appeared over it, and then it was gone. The spaceship Bravado, and it's crew, were no more!

The story will be updated as it is published in the post.