h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This may not be how to spell "mau", but it's what I use. The game is played like this:
The game should be played with maybe four players, only one or two of which need to know the rules (that's most of the fun, playing when you don't know the rules). There are three BASIC RULES which the excperienced player gives to the inexperienced ones at the start of the game.
1. Play is much like UNO or Crazy Eights. Each person gets a five-card hand and plays cards down in a pile, matching either the number or the suit of the previous card. There are a few "unknown" rules, though, and failing to perform certain actions is punishable by a card penalty.
2. There is no talking during actual game play. If you want to talk, say "pevo" (pronounced "pee-vo"). Everyone puts down their cards and can express their problems and frustrations at not knowing the rules. To end the period, say "Un-pevo". Everyone picks up their hands and resumes play. There is no touching of the cards during Pevo. Touching the cards is punishable by a penalty, as is talking during normal game play.
3. There is no "telling of the rules" allowed. That is punishable by a penalty.

Now for the fun part of Mau: gameplay. I'm sure you know how Crazy Eights and UNO are played, and you can learn easily if you don't. Play continues clockwise from the dealer and lasts until someone discards all their cards in the middle. Playing cards with certain values, though, affects the game in different ways. I am sworn to secrecy about the actual rules, but I can give some examples.

-A penalty is a card given to a person to penalize their ignorance of the rules. Penalties are given by anyone who knows the rule; an "incorrect penalty" deserves a penalty in itself. Simply hand a card to a player and say, "Failure to lick nose" or "Talking"(during game play). The person receiving the penalty must say "thank you"--"failure to say thank you" is another penalty.

-Playing "card X" reverses the order of play. Instead of continuing clockwise, play goes counterclockwise. "Failure to play" and "Playing out of turn" are common penalties encountered here.

-When a person plays "card Y", he must say "Have a nice day." (He takes no penalties for talking--incorrect penalty!) If he is playing "card Y" on top of a card with a similar value, he must say "Have a very nice day" or "very very nice day".

-When you play a card in "suit Z", you must say the value of that card. For example, I play the "Y of Zs" on top of the "Y of As". I announce, "Y of Zs. Have a very nice day."

Have I confused anybody yet? Good, that's the whole fun of Mau!
These are only a few rules. You can make up your own or have Mau brain-storming sessions where everyone comes up with a rule of his own.
This game is more fun with people you know well, so play it at family reunions or holiday parties. Have fun, play nice and DON'T TELL THE RULES.

Oh no! Not Mau!

Yes! Mau! Booga booga booga!

Aieee!

I do hope someone is still reading this thread.
In Mau when you award a penalty card and say "Talking" I understand that the person was talking. If you have a rule that if you play a king you must lick your nose would you say "Failure to lick nose" as you hand the penalty? Isn't that telling them the rules which is against the rules? OR is it the only way of letting someone know what it is they have done wrong.

Also do you say, "Didn't say thank-you" when they didn't say thank you for a penalty card and continue to do that until they have all the cards in their fist because they don't say thank you for the next penalty cards?

Where do the penalty cards come from. Your own hand or the pack in the middle of the table?

Vestie