Welcome to The Manor, available for parties, weddings, stag and hen nights, and even the odd overnight guest. Feel free to make yourself at home, the links below should help you find your way around. We are thinking of introducing a travellers site, for people that only want to stop a night or two. Enquiries to The Managers Office please.
Welcome To The Manor
The stately home resides not far out of London, so when you need to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city, why not come and experience a little luxury.
We have full amenities including a stables, two lakes, some woods to explore and plenty of tranquil spots to laze in the sunshine, with plenty of shelter in the case of the usual British Summer.
Archangel Galaxy Babe If you need a little French Polishing done by a lady in a very short dress, she is your woman (Disclaimer: Seek medical advice if you have a heart-condition) She's usually flitting around the Manor, but is supposed to be here.
sea is the name of the flirtaceous young lady at reception. No quarters allocated yet.
The GroundsThe Chapel
This centuries old chapel is a throw back to more innocent days, when fidelity, trust and marriage meant a lifetime commitment. Indeed, in recent years St.James has seen more depravity than in the Chapel's entire existenceThe Cinema
A modern, state of the art Multiplex that will provide you with the full movie experience. Both new and old movies alike are shown here, to keep the people that visit The Unnamed Manor happy and entertained.
Also on offer is the old Regent cinema, with a balcony, stalls, curtains over the screen and black and white classics playing all day long.
Located right next to the cinema, this modern and well-stocked candy shop has anything at all, enough for every sweet tooth you may have. Perfect to provide you with a delicious movie experience or just if you have the munchies.The Guesthouses
These spacious guesthouses are the alternative to the formal atmosphere of the main Manor. Indeed, some patrons generally like the fact that their proximity to lake gives the ideal conditions for some late night skinnydipping
- Guesthouse No.1 - St.Dax
- Guesthouse No.2 - Con dom
- Guesthouse No.3 - Titania
- Guesthouse No.4
- Guesthouse No.5
- Guesthouse No.6 - Apollo
- Guesthouse No.7 - Seven of Nine
- Guesthouse No.8
- Guesthouse No.9
First FloorThe Reception Area
This fine entrance to the Manor contains many lurid examples of the finest nude sculptures. A large teak desk contains the guestbook, small bell and pamphletsThe Managers Office
A small room at the back of Reception holds all the equipment of a busy Dominatrix. Oh no, wait, wrong persona. Sorry. The Managers office is the place to come if you have a problem or an enquiry. Staff, guests, and mad old gits from off the street are all welcome.The Main Bar
This is a grand looking bar where Mandarb, the Head Barman can be seen mixing some of the most exotic drinks ever seen in staid old Britian.The Ballroom
This lavish room has finally been renovated back to its previous glory, the site of many a lavish ball since the middle-ages, it has had the Kings and Queens of Europe graceing its moziac tilesThe Kitchen
This large modern kitchen has moved with the times to supply enough for a mansion full of ravernous people. Why not check out the larder containing everything a midnight snack could need
Second FloorThe Main Rooms
These noble rooms have everything that you could want for the not inconsiderable outlay
Fairly spartanly furnished rooms, although one does get to drop the estates name next time one is social climbing
- Room 11) - St. Goshoogoshoogosh
- Room 12) - Dr St Justin
- Room 13) - Silly Willy
- Room 14)
- Room 15)
- Room 16)
- Room 17)
- Room 18) - Pegasus
Imprisonment is not a punishment in itself. It is a means of temporary confinement until the accused can be brought to trial. Nevertheless, it is the fate of the wretched few to spend years locked in this awful place.
The Dungeon Keeper is Arthur, but it's hardly worth bothering with him unless you like having a mouthful of incomprehensible drivel shouted at you.