The Rose and the Drinking Game are two remarkably similar ways of getting drunk with friends. They both involve cards, they have an element of contest and rivalry and both demand extensive beer-availability. It is recommended that both games are played with no less than three, and no more than six, players. Four players is ideal. Finally, both games get the players drunk. This is the objective.

Winning is not the objective. You can't win. This sets the two games apart from the average tabletop wargame/game of darts.

The Rules of the Rose

The Rose is the game with the hardest set-up and the simplest rules. You prepare the game by putting out 14 cards in a circle, and placing the remainder of the deck in the middle of the circle. If you have many players, or want to play for a while, use two decks. This might make the initial part of the game longer, but it's really no big deal.

When everybody has seated themselves and the cards have been placed, one of the players picks a card¹. The first player then gives the card to one of the others. If the card is anything from ace to ten, the receiver takes one sip of his beer. If the card shows a King, a Queen or a Jack, two sips are taken. Then the receiver picks a card and gives it to someone. It is perfectly alright for two players to deal cards to each other, but it makes for a slow game for everybody else. Dealing cards to oneself is also possible. This continues until the stack is empty and you are left with the 14 cards in a circle.

Although the ceremony of dealing and receiving cards continues unabated, the value of the cards changes immediately after entering the circle. Now the cards' numerical value (one for aces, three for threes and twelve for Queens, etc) is the number of sips the receiver takes.

Clearly, this is the point in the game things get ugly. Fortunately, there are a couple of rules that makes the game nicer for everybody involved.

• For every profanity, curse or otherwise unpleasant word you utter, take a sip of your beer.

• Every time you use someone's name or nickname even, take a sip of your beer.

• Every time you take a sip of your beer using your right hand (or left hand if you are left-handed), take a sip of your beer.

The Rose is played until there are no more cards left. At this point one might pass out, head out to a bar/pub or other spot where one can be drunk without feeling ill at ease, or even play another round of the Rose.

The Rules of the Drinking Game

The Drinking Game has a much easier set-up than the Rose. Simply take a stack of cards and spread it out over the table. Use two stacks if you want the game to last longer. Then start picking cards. The players draw in order, beginning with the oldest and working its way around the table clockwise. The card is either kept with the picker, given away or it prompts some kind of action from the participants.

The Values and their Meaning

• Ace through seven means the receiver must take that amount of sips from their beer.

• Eight means 'Contest!'. The contest is played out like this; the picker of the card asks a question of the type 'Band names beginning with A', and then he answers it, and passes it around. The next player must then give a band name beginning with A. The contest lasts until someone can't come up with an answer. That last sucker must take five sips of his or her beer. It is important to use your imagination when coming up with questions. It is illegal to pose a question twice during a game. Likewise, it is illegal to use the same answer more than once.

• Nine is pee-break. If you have a nine in your possession, you may go to the bathroom, go out for some air, whatever you like really. A nine is good for one break, and one break only. The break lasts until you re-enter the room or until the game is over, whichever comes first.

• Ten is a special card. When someone has a ten, you may not answer that player's questions. Ever. If you do, you must take five sips of your beer. The ten is valid for one answered question.

• When the Jack is drawn, everyone must salute and say 'Hello Sir!'. The last one to salute takes five sips of his or her beer.

• When the Queen is drawn, everyone must salute and say 'Hello Madam!'. The last one to salute takes ten sips of his beer.

• When the King is drawn, it is put aside. When the fourth King is drawn, the drawer must take 15 sips of his or her beer. Nasty indeed.

Much like the Rose, you play until all cards are drawn. Alternatively, you might put every card back into the heap after they have been played. That way, you can play forever, or at least until you run out of beer.

Beer, Beer, Beer!

Why are these only beer-games, you might ask yourself. Try drawing the fourth King using Tequila shots instead of beer. Now you see? Actually, these games simply work better with beer. Nobody is stopping you playing with booze, but nobody is taking any responsibility for what you do after the game either. Not that anybody would anyway, but you get the point. Wine is a better alternative if you dislike beer. However, that lacks a bit of finesse, doesn't it? To drink a fine Faustino in huge gulps really doesn't impress the ladies.