h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

During my years at Auckland Uni (reasonably recent - mid to late 1990s) I was the unfortunate witness to an event that has happened several times that I am aware of, and is usually performed by the same person. Warning: not for the reading pleasure of those with gentle stomachs, plus laced with euphemisms

Let's call the perpetrator A, just because it's the first letter of the alphabet. A will perform this tragic trick at most drinking horns, naked.

first A will skull a jug of (often sub-optimum quality) beer

then A will urinate into the (now empty) jug

then A will skull these new contents of the jug

then A will vomit into the (empty again) jug

then A will skull the new new contents of the jug

then A will hold jug and hands above head triumphantly. I'm not sure quite what A does after that.

ok, so there weren't really any euphemisms - i was a bit worried about cultural gaps

cheerio
span

And what does A do this for?

Notoriety I would imagine.

It's a male thing

I should have guessed.

as far as this male is concerned A is a crack head i'm sorry thats just not cool

I agree. What a terrible way to treat beer.

its regular alcohol abuse i tell you

Actually I agree too - but I can't vouch for my rather debauched past.
Once I was wont to do this sort of thing )although nowhere near this extreme)
All part of growing up

Alcohol abuse is one of the saddest things in society. Alcohol should never be abused! It should always be treated nicely with friendly warmth and respect! Alcohol - the cause and solution to all our problems!

All I can say is THANK Christ for Bass Strait!! (for non-Pacificans, it is the large - but not large enough - body of water separating Australian and Enn Zud).

Another point. There have been recent articles in the national press looking at the 'brain-drain' across this passage, bringing NZ professionals to 'West Island' as they affectionately call it.

Presumably these professionals are graduands of these same educational institutions and may have spent their studies in a blind-drunk, p**s-soaked, chunder-splattered, alcohol-induced frenzy. I throw open the question to all - how the hell would this constitute a 'brain-drain' when a brain is actually required in the first place?? (Try to keep your answers short and non-abusive). Thanks

Gees, Bruce (or should that be Wayne?). Bass Strait is a body of water lying between the Australian mainland and the island state of Tasmania. New Zealand is separated from the land of the Sons of the Sheepsteaters (Australia) by the 1500 kilometre-wide Tasman Sea.

No wonder New Zealanders say Sydney is "London for beginners".

Point taken matey.

Bass Strait is also particularly useful, acting as a buffer between Tasmania and the world in general. We let one of those Tasmanians by the name of Errol Flynn loose a few years back and we've never lived it down.

*Presumably these professionals are graduands of these same educational institutions and may have spent their studies in a blind-drunk, p**s-soaked, chunder-splattered, alcohol-induced frenzy.*


Sounds like my undergraduate days here in blighty

i would also like to point out the A is in fact well into his 30s. In fact I saw him just the other day and perhaps his drinking habits have contributed to the fact that he is still at uni, and has yet to make it through?

but maybe i'm just being nasty

the thing about the brain drain is that the quickest way for a graduate to pay off their student loan is to go overseas where they will pretty much always get better money - but i think a lot of people intend to return once they've seen a bit of the world and earnt some money - warning: do not start me on the state of NZ's tertiary education system or the (under)funding thereof - i spent four years embroiled in a students' assn and up to my ears in it


span

And, as legendary NZ Prime Minister Rob Muldoon once said, New Zealanders moving to Australia raise the IQ levels of both countries.

how did i know you were going to say that!?!

it was probably kinder than pointing out that the only reason Australia can afford to pay good wages to graduates from Anzac universities is because it exploits the people doing 'real' work - the down-trodden working class.

Incidently Span, how goes the revolution?

..enn thut's a fuct, ey?

It's an historic fact.

The future is looking brighter for all Australians now that a few whizzkids from New Zealand have spent a couple of years training the Australian business community how to successfully operate the new (in Australia, NZ introduced it back in 1984) Goods and Services Tax (GST).