in a road incident while on the way to his mother's funeral... he was already in a tux for when they buried him.

In many places, they do not have pedestrian areas on bridges going from a point a that many pedestrians want to leave to a point b that many pedestrians want to visit. thus, a couple weekends ago, a local fellow fell forty feet onto a major highway because the non-pedestrian-friendly bridge he was traversing was invaded by a driver who had not bothered to service his brakes. the brakeless vehicle swerved while trying to attempt to avoid the pedestrian, leading to the vehicle turning broadside and contacting the guide rail of the brige with an impact, about where the pedestrian had been ten seconds before.

Now, if either or all of these gentlemen had had pianos...