The Grand River is the longest, most voluminous river in Southern Ontario (which, itself, is a fairly big place). It is considered a 'Heritage River'. It flows 290 km from north to south, nearly bisecting the pointy triangle formed by the Great Lakes Huron, Ontario, and Erie.

It is not an Anglicized version of the southern river made famous by John Wayne and others. Though, in it's own right, it may lay claim to historical significance.

The Grand River begins in a marsh to the north of the twin cities of Kitchener-Waterloo. Kitchener was founded by German immigrants, who called their new home Berlin. Despite the name change, the city still hosts the second largest October(beer)fest in the world¹. Large Mennonite and Amish communities still farm the surrounding land. They disavow modern convenience, live plainly, and tolerate tourists with good grace.

In it's haste to leave Kitchener-Waterloo behind, the otherwise placid Grand sprints through a series of narrow gorges in the scenic Elora region.

Before entering Cambridge, the river slows again, as if to wonder what happened to the towns of Galt, Hespeler, and Preston, which gave up their separare identities to form the new city.

Next, the Grand flows through the small, non-French speaking town of Paris, where Canadian National rail dares trains to cross it's span on an improbable trestle bridge.

Continuing at a leisurely pace, through pleasant farmland, the river winds, slow and shallow, to historic Brantford.

Brant's Ford is where Chief Joseph Brant brought the people of the Six Nations of the Iroquois. Most of the Grand River watershed was given to the Iroquois, after the American Revolution, in appreciation of their loyalty to the British Crown; because such views had made them unpopular with their old neighbors in New York. Much of the land was then leased back to United Empire Loyalists under circumstances that are now a source of controversy and the inspiration for a celebrated curse. Mohawk Chapel (1785) can still be visited on the left bank of the river.

Brantford was once home to Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone. The Bell Telephone building in the city houses a statue of Abraham Lincoln, which, by common consent is deemed to represent Alexander Graham Bell. The telephone is so popular, and such a source of pride, that an even grander memorial to it's inventer features a bronze relief of several naked people reaching for something invisible (presumably a telephone) flanked by two colossal bare-breasted amazons.

The Grand River drops over a series of weirs while passing through Brantford, then follows a languid and tortuous route past the Six Nations Reserve.

The Six Nations Of The Grand is the largest First Nations community in Canada. It hosts an annual pow wow in July, which should be a part of every visitor's itinerary. The Reserve is also home to Chiefswood, the residence of the celebrated poet E. Pauline Johnson. This building has two identical 'fronts': one facing the road and one facing the river. The building was so designed in order to honour native and white visitors equally.

The river broadens and grows deeper as it approaches the Town of Caledonia. Fishing, boating, and water-skiing are popular recreational activities in the area. Miles of gently rolling farmland pass before the river enters Dunnville, the last sizable town before the Grand spills into Lake Erie.

The Grand River is very beautiful and remarkably pristine. It offers tranquility and a seemingly endless progression of vistas; which, if not breathtakingly dramatic, have a uniquely compelling charm of their own. Wildlife such as Whitetail Deer and Great Blue Herons are abundant along it's entire course.

It never plummets over mile-high cliffs. It does not have man-eating fish or electric eels. It just flows along with a quiet unassuming dignity.