h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Great article. Weel done. "But what if the lift you are in is taking you down a mine?" I hear you say. Before you get in on the way down you will be searched for contraband. Matches and smoking materials are absolutely banned. You will also probably want to have a conversation with your co-workers as they hurtle down the shaft with you for several minutes to get to pit bottom.

If you ever see a colliery from a passing car or train you will see a huge spoked wheel above it. This wheel controls the wire that the lift car is hanging from. After the initial drop it is amazing how you no longer feels anything even though the car is falling at a fast rate.

Rules about bodily hygiene don't count on the way up. Everyone is filthy and sweaty and in great need of a shower.

When in normal lifts with able bodied children I get them to bend their knees just before they reach their floor - especially if the lift is going down. This helps them to feel the stopping of the lift more effectively. It doesn't go down so well with adults.

On some London underground stations they have lifts with doors at both ends as you get in on one side and get off at the other.

In lifts with glass walls it is not advised that you do anything that you may do in a steel walled lift when travelling alone. Nose picking and ear wax mining can be seen by all and sundry.

Interesting information about the lifts in collieries.

And the lifts in ear-wax mines?

They are really small. Etiquette in them is totally different as well. You have to speak VERY quietly as you have the feeling that someone, somewhere is listening to your every word.