h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... it might not be just a fad but the sign of allergies. My older brother always had problems with fish - he was over 30 years old when he diagnosed with allergies against ALL kinds of seafood.

Parents should take such dislikes serious and help the kids.

I agree. Forcing kids to eat things they hate will only leave them with bad memories, making it less likely they will eat the food as an adult.

Well I kind of agree and disagree.

I think children should eat a balenced diet and although there has been research done that shows children will eat properly if left to their own devices (can't remember where I read that) I still don't think the average kiddy would eat cabbage in preference to spaggetti hoops. I think parents should be very careful when distinguishing between fussiness and genuine hating of something. I was a very picky eater as a kid and if my Mum had listened then there would have been very few things that I would eat and I would probably have got quite sick. Most kids are just picky. Beware. Often, if this is the case, then theres a little trick that might work.

Admit partial defeat. Sounds like a cop out I know. But make a deal with your child. Something along the lines of they only have to eat twwo brussel sprouts or a small slice of polenta. Don't make them eat the whole serving. Or they never have to eat broad beans but they do have to eat carrots and not complain. If you make the child think they have a little control then they will find the food a little more acceptable. YOu have to give a little bit in order to get them to give too. Make the rule then stick to it, you're the adult! Are you serious about not being able to outwit a five year old!

If you are really worried that maybe the child is allergic to something then do you own version of an exclusion diet. The child wont notice as long as every one in the house gets the same thing to eat. Say you suspect tomatoes. Have a day or two with only food that the child doesnt fuss about eating. Then introduce tomatoes. Dont change anything else. stick to the things you have eaten over the pst few days. Observe if there are changes to behavior or if there seems to be illness as a result. If there does then try to keep away from tomatoes and tomatoe products for a week or two and see if the same symptoms occur with anything else. Make careful notes as to what you have actualy cooked because you wont remember. This is not just for your own peace of mind. If you think there really is a problem then go to Doctor you will be asked do some of these experiments as well as skin tests so you may as well get a head start. Also it may be necessary to show the Doctor a food diary to convince them that there is a problem anyway. Don't forget to write down drinks as well. YOu wouldnt believe some of the things that go in to drink and many children are allergic to them, especially the colouring and preservatives.

Happy Eating

FABT

Now, I'm going to have to disagree with you on the 'two brussel sprouts' method of getting kids to eat. It may sound like a fair compromise to you, since you like the food. But to someone who really hates the food or who gets sick when eating it, it's really no compromise.

I mean, how would you like it if someone forced a food you hate on you now? You'd be resentful, unhappy, and generally grossed out. Just because you're an adult and they're children doesn't change the way it will make them feel.

So here's my story. I was about five years old, and I didn't like vegetables as much as my neighbors. My mother didn't understand this, and worried that she wasn't raising me properly. She felt it was her duty to teach me proper nutrition.

As an adult, I understand that the problem was that (no offense) my mother is a terrible cook when it comes to veggies. The kids next door were getting fresh salads, grilled cucumber and pineapple, and sauteed greens. My mother always delivered veggies in mushy overboiled forms devoid of vitamins or appeal. But as a child, I only knew that I hated the way veggies tasted at the dinner table.

My mother never discussed *why* I didn't like vegetables. After all, she was the adult and I was only a child. What could I possibly add to the conversation? So she tried the 'two brussel sprouts" method. At first, I went along with it. But a few veggies (especially green beans) were making me feel sick no matter how few I ate. So I began to refuse.

It finally came to a head one night when I wouldn't eat a single green bean. Not one. My mother felt a need to exert her authority over me to make a point. She thought I would eat veggies if she just put down her foot. So she told me I couldn't leave the table until I ate a few green beans.

After several exhausting hours of refusal, I feel asleep at the table. The next morning, I woke up with my head on my half-eaten plate. My mother came into the kitchen. And she made me eat a good number of green beans that were overcooked and had been sitting out all night.

The date on the can of green beans had expired, she later realized. I threw up most of the day.

I never eat green beans as an adult. I even feel a bit queasy watching other people eat them.

I've learned to eat most other vegetables. I find that I like them uncooked, grilled, sauteed, or boiled to a reasonable level. Like most people, I don't like them boiled until they fall apart. But I find that I still don't like a few of my mother's signature 'compromise' vegetables. At age 27, I'm still struggling to get over my general disgust of mother's tactics.

So in at least one case, this technique has had the exact opposite effect as the one intended. So seriously, I recommend talking to your child. Ask them why they dislike the foods they do. They may have a reasonable explanation for you.

You may be able to cook things differently. Or maybe your child simply has different tastes than you, and would be happy to eat veggies that you don't cook much because *you* don't like them. Maybe there is a single culprit that you can eliminate. Why not ask, before jumping the gun and asserting adult authority over a matter of personal taste?

FRagilis' desciption sounds so like the situations I had as a child!

My mother was a primary school teacher, so should have known better, but I had an elder sister who ate everything put in front of her.

Mum now talks about the agony of worry over your own child *not* eating, and I can understand that, but it was that pressure - as much as the food itself - that made life hard. I got to the stage where I would deliberately leave food because the reaction to a 'clean plate' was so over blown.

tbc

Sorry - got called away.

Things got better when I left home and could do my own thing with reagrds to food, but at some point I did realise that the migraines had something to do with it. So, my tips:

- Give the child some *space*
- Never, never force them to eat
- Involve the child in the choosing, preparation and cooking of food. Let them touch, smell, even taste as the food is prepared. It's hard to understand how *afraid* I was of food at one stage. Exoplain or demonstrate every ingredient or process and what it does
- Small portions - they can always get more, or let them choose the portions
- Make it aspirational: My mum nows syas to my nieces "Don't you like it? don't worry - lots of children don't like that at first, but you will when you grow up"; there's no hassle and the kids actually want to like new foods, and be grown up
- Look for other reasons: I too turned my nose up at food that turned out to be "off" - children do have very acute palates

'nuff said

Well, I'm glad I'm not alone, Cloviscat. Though the method is well-intentioned, I don't think it has been proven to work in any scientific studies. It is just passed on from parent to parent, sometimes with horrible consequences.

I think it's a great idea to get your child in on the process of choosing vegetables. Take them to the grocery store, or to an open market, and let them pick out the vegetables you want to buy. You could even then them pick a new vegetable that they have never eaten before. If it doesn't turn out well, you can at least laugh at the experience.

This will tend to empower your child and will provide positive memories for them. What a great idea!

Oh and , Fragilis, as I believe you're collecting them right now

Aw, thanks. I must be getting near to 50 hugs by now!

first a hug for Fragilis

My mother says now that the body knows what is not good for it and therefore rejects it. It took her long enough to figure that one out! (after drowning me with cinamon each time I had stomach ache for 20 years, and now we know that cinamon is among my top 5 allergies...)

I was a very bad eater when a child (still am ) and they tried to help out with some drops for apetite. Problem was the drops contained vitamin B - another allergie. I realized it later when I simply could not take in anything with vitamin B - multi-vitamin, those special very nutricious breads, even beer. I also cannot stand over-cooked veggies - and the Iranian cusine is based on them . If only me kitchen gets ready so I can cook for myself.

Another point for people with food allergies - say it out loud! The people in our supermarket are quite used to me "sniffing out" sausages etc, and my mother has started to tell people who invite us not to make any food with garlic or cinnamon - I finally ate something other than plain rice and salad on a family party!
Also, sometime the allergie might be for a short period - if the body for some chemical reason cannot take it. Maybe that's why children start eating the things they used to hate after a while.

Do you remember your first taste of wine, or whisky, or beer? Chances are, if you were a child, you didn't like it, or couldn't take too much of it. Tastes do develop and change - thank goodness, or we'd all still be on Farley's rusks (apologies if that is a British thing!) But it's a brave person if like Nim, you're willing to try something that caused you trouble. I live with someone who had an egg allergy as a child. It may have gone by now - nobody knows as he hasn't touched an egg in 10 years!