h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ok, I feel a bit uncomfortable about talking about this - but I'm 15 and have a problem with pronography. I've been visiting sites for a long time, (but I haven't downloaded anything, and have always pruged my history, cookies, etc), and although I really want to stop using the sites, I find that they keep drawing me back, and being a teenager, and an adolescant, I have a high 'sex drive' which makes matters worse.

I have seen people I know in school using porno sites, but I just find them morally repulsive, but addictive all the same...they are a personal vice that I'd rather not have, and I have tried going for a couple of days, maybe weeks at a time without using them. But I keep on letting myself down by going on them again.

I would VERY much like ANY advice people could give me who may or may not have been through this about helping me get my life away from porno.

Thankyou,

Matt

Matt, I don't feel qualified to answer your concerns. But I want to respond promptly, because I want you to know that someone is listening and cares.

There are three ways I can think of to look at this problem. One is to respond that if you are bothered enough to write what you did, the compassionate thing to do is give you some resources to set you on the path to recovery. Along those lines, you might want to start here:

http://dmoz.org/Society/Sexuality/Sexual_Addiction/Pornography/

There are several sites there to choose from. Some are specifically religious in nature, while others are more centered on the treatment of psychological addiction as it relates to internet porn. Hopefully, you will find at least one that feels right to you.

There is also another way to look at the problem. I could instead offer reassurances that looking at internet porn doesn't make you a 'bad' person. A significant percentage of people, both men and women, do the same. And for the huge majority of them, there's no clear negative impact on their lives or their interactions with other people.

For some people, the solution might actually be to accept themselves and their sexual urges a bit more. To a certain extent, that's what being a teenager is about. Part of your job at this stage of your life is to learn to understand what you like and why. Really, it's a problem only to the extent that it bothers you and causes trouble in your life.

Finally, I could respond by recommending that you speak to your parents about it. I know it isn't the easiest thing to do. But they can help you in a way strangers on the internet can't. They can give you advice tailored to you and your family's world view. They can help you seek help with a counselor or psychologist. And they can help you stop the behaviour by installing software that blocks or monitors your surfing.

I'm not sure what the best way to respond is. I've included all three, so you can judge for yourself. Best of luck to you in any case.

Hi Matt,

I'd just like to add to what Fragilis has said - any addiction can cause problems if it's interfering with the rest of your life.

Here are links to some people who you can talk to - they don't judge, and it might help.

The Samaritans
Tel: 08457 90 90 90
Website: www.samaritans.org/index.shtm
Email: [email protected]

CALM
Confidential, anonymous helpline offering support to young men, with information about other organisations for a wide range of issues. There is no time-limit on calls and they won't show up on the bill if you use a landline.
Tel: 0800 58 58 58 (Free helpline open 5pm-3am, every day)
Website: www.thecalmzone.net

There is also a BBC site - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/sundaysurgery/index.shtml - where the message boards are really helpful.

Good luck.

Matt

As the other co-author of this entry, can I just add my agrement to what the other 2 have said - in my time on this site i have seen enough to realise that the simple fact that you have posted here indicates that you are analysing the way you are feeling and not simply going with the flow. This is a good thing.

There can be positive sides to this - I know several people who have confirmed in their own minds their sexuality by visiting internet porn sites and seeing what they find stimulating there, without the need to experiment with other people.

I too used to view these pages, inmy opinion, too much, and they still hold a weird fascination, although having seen a lot of whatis out there very little has any attraction.

keep analysising your feelings and remember thatthere is a big difference between what is shown on these sites and reality - if/when you enter a sexual relationship it isn't going to be like a non stop porn shoot - it is much more spiritual and meaningful than that, so take care to treat those who you do get close to as real people.

Good Luck

Kadu flyer