h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

First confession marks the belief that a person becomes morally responsable for his or her actions and deeds at the age of six or seven and involves a time of reflection, meditation, and prayer about the nature of sin, free will, and God's forgiveness. During the ceremony the children pray, sing hymns, and have our first confession with the priest. This used to be seen as a listing off of our sins to await our punishment, but now is more like a spiritual counselling, where the child can tell the priest what he or she is worried about and receive guidance.

Being a 32 year old adult who was babtised a catholic but never had confermation or first communion, I must say that first confession at this age is quite difficult. Having to look over your entire life and find all the things one needs to atone for is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Trying to research the matter on the proper words and phrases used in confession has been an act of frustration as well. Searching many sites and asking many people on the proper way to confess has lead me to believe that there is no proper way. It is something that is between you and your priest and the way you or he prefers to hold the "ceremony". This has not been much help to me personaly and I am still having problems on how to catogorize my sins and how to present them to the Father without missing anything. I've been led to believe that if one leaves out something then it really isn't confessing and even though the Father gives you absolution you know it isn't true. By the same rule, if you're not truly sorry for your sins absolution does nothing for your soul or peace of mind. Unless you are ready to atone completely for your sins and to "tell all" confession is an empty conversation.

It's not always realised that the Church of England (Anglican/Episcopal Church) never lost the Sacrament of Confession at the Reformation (and still keeps its Catholic order.)

Confession is never compulsory. The rule is:
All may.
Some do.
Some should.

These days, in both Rome and Canterbury, it tends to be called "The Sacrament of Reconciliation," and the "get 'em in the box" culture has all but gone. Reconcilation is not the mechanical listing of sins - because sin is not mechanical. And, if you have a bad memory like me, you'd forget half of them anyway!

Reconcilation is about relationships. Sin is about being in wrong relationship with God, with another or others, and, indeed, with oneself. Sin "blocks" grace and love. So it's about much more than stealing pencils from the office.

Confession can still take it's formal, traditional form, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned" (or "Mother" in the case of my three female colleagues) or it can be much more informal, sitting comfortably in church, in the priest's study, your lounge, anywhere private. And it is a question of talking through thoughts and feelings, hurts and failing, AND seeing AND ACCEPTING what is GOOD in you. At the end of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the Priest pronounces Absolution in God's name, finishing with "Go in peace. The Lord has put your sins away. And pray for me, a sinner." There will be a simple penance, such as reading and meditating on a psalm, unless there is clear need for restitution and restitution is possible. (It obviously isn't, always.)

As you leave Confession, if you've been true to yourself and honest before God, be VERY, VERY sure - your sins are blotted out as if they had never been. God does not remember them. And certainly, neither does any (trustworthy) Priest. (You have to use your own judgement there. Is s/he transparent, open, loving, accepting, confidential? Take your time finding out!) God will give you "grace for the amendment of life and the grace and comfort of the Holy Spirit."

Father Ted.

Be VERY, VERY sure your sins are blotted out, NOT that you've been honest. We assume that!

Father Ted.

Mimi--
If you are really concerned that you may have forgotten something (I always do), there is one simple sentence that, if you are sincere, helps. It is 'For these sins and all I cannot remember, I am truly sorry.'

Isn't that right, Father Ted?