h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Slacker, I see you have combined the new article with the original one supplied by the h2g2 writing team. As I subbed the new stuff - 90% of the yarn - do I get co-editing status?

Loony

90%?!?!?!?! Have you gone completely LOONY? Nevermind, that's a rhetorical question. For your information I wrote nearly all of the article that's there now, including the most of the colloquialisms for death. The H2G2 writing team only added a the first two paragraphs at the beginning and the bit about MP. So the answer would be NO! The credit is all mine ! (Or to be more mature about it...neener, neener, neener!)
~§~
Just kidding of course.

Shadow, please don't be stupid. I am talking about the subbing credit NOT the writing credit

And believe me, it needed plenty of subbing

HEY! No reason to get offensive, I was joking, note the JUST KIDDING OF COURSE at the end of the message. I'll remember in the future to avoid attempting to joke around with you Loony, perhaps you should avoid me and my articles as well.
~§~
§hadow
http://www.h2g2.com/u133044

90%?!?!?!?! Have you gone completely LOONY?

As a professional writer I found this ill-informed, nasty, potentially slanderous and dumb.

Nevermind, that's a rhetorical question.

I found this offensive and dumb.

For your information I wrote nearly all of the article that's there now, including the most of the colloquialisms for death. The H2G2 writing team only added a the first two paragraphs at the beginning and the bit about MP.

This statement is totally false. All the Monty Python stuff (plus other bits needed to change the article from opinion - including the word colloquialism) was written - and added - by me, not the h2g2 Writing team.

So the answer would be NO! The credit is all mine ! (Or to be more mature about it...neener, neener, neener!)

The credit is not all yours. As explained, at least three people, maybe four, have worked on the yarnI was not claiming a writing credit even though of course I could because of the stuff I added

Just kidding of course.

The tactic of scoundrals. Falsely accuse someone of something without ensuring you have your facts right and then try and make a pathetic joke out of it.

In short, unaware I subbed the yarn you jumped to unwarranted conclusions and publicy slagged me off. I await the apology.

Just kidding of course.

Firstly the comment about you having gone completely "LOONY" is a direct reference to your name and WAS a joke, hence it being a rhetorical question.

Secondly the statement that I did "nearly all" of the original writing is in fact true. I have the original unmodified article I wrote and what's there is almost verbatim to what is there now with the exception of the aforementioned items.

Thirdly when I said I was "just kidding of course", I meant what the hell I said, I had been just kidding.

In short I didn't PUBLICLY slag you, nor jump to any unwarranted conclusions. Up until you decided to write this I HAD been just joking about. Now however, I AM accusing you of being an overly-sensitive ass with little or no sense of humor and an over-inflated sense of self-importance. GET OVER YOURSELF!

Not kidding at all.

Shadow, thank you for hating. I was fearing I was alone. As much as I read and reread the gospels of the New Testament, and feel calmed, awed, undoubtedly a better person, the fact of the matter is that I just can't stop hating people.

Shocker. Most of my 1999 hatreds have survived to this new century - PR trouts, go-getters, role models, people who wear the right haircut, opinion writers, etc. With the passing of 12 months, though, comes a whole new raft of irrational spites and bitter judgements.

TV newsbreak readers. "Kia ora! (Hullo) Here's three garbled sentences on issues of some importance, and another sentence about something funny, which I'll deliver with a smile!" Bring on the real commercials.

TV continuity announcers. Even the job title is insane.

Young bald guys. You know the ones I mean. From behind, they all look the same - black shirt, topped off with a slaphead. What I can never figure out is whether they go the barber and ask for a dome-job because they're losing their hair, and may as well go the whole bald hog, or whether it's a fashion statement. This irritates me greatly. But much, much worse are young bald guys with goatees. Their heads look like testicles.

Guys with ponytails. Unbelievable.

Parents who jog with their babies in those green canvas prams. Your children will grow up to be lazy-assed slobs, and they will despise everything you stand for.

Literary critics and h2g2 sub-editors. Unbelievable.

People who phone up just as you're about to sit down to eat dinner. Mostly, of course, I love my relatives.

Saxophones. They look awful.

Money machine cards. They could at least be the size of saxophones. Instead, they are so small, so flimsy, that of course the blasted things are going to fall out of your pocket on Friday night, leaving you flat broke all weekend. "So get a backpack. Put your money machine card in the backpack, and that way you'll never lose it," instructs my friend, as if she's speaking to a child.
Backpacks. They look awful.

Litterers. Do you litter? I hate you more than any other kind of person alive. One day, Satan will greet you at the gates of hell, and say, "Nice to see you!"

Satanists. They're doomed.

Teenage drinkers. Re - the lowering of NZ drinking age to 18: the law is an ass.

Committee members who march in, sit down without being invited to, and then make insane petitions to take your red velvet couch from your office at the Cosmopolitan Club and place it in reception for the benefit of visitors. How selfish. They're probably Satanists.

People who won't give to charity. Poor show. Please, just give.

Techno pigs. Note for elderly readers: techno pigs very typically play idiotic techno music in their homes really loud, really late at night, and really don't care if it disturbs their neighbours.

Addicts. Especially cigarette smokers. (My friend is giving up tomorrow.)

Friends who hurt your feelings. Some friends they are.

Niche magazines. Apart from British Soccer Weekly, Total Football, Sitter!: The New Zealand Soccer Fanzine, World Soccer, etc, the rest pander to unhealthy obsessions.

People who hang up on telemarketers. At least telemarketers have nice phone manners.

Delusionists. Specifically, people who display fantastic and enviable levels of arrogance, but have such pitifully little talent. You know who you are. So does everyone else, and they also know you're actually a no-good bum.

Harsh people. Yes, they really are terrible.

This should do it for the time being. Looking back over the list, it strikes me that I've mellowed over the last 12 months - although I am quite plainly unworthy of Christ's love, perhaps the gospels are working.

Loonytunes

Shadow, no doubt you will be pleased to find out that the editing credit for this yarn has been corrected.

Thank you "Ashley" - not "Slacker" as I mistakenly addressed my original post to.