h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The first two times I did it with my most recent ex (We'll call him Joe, since that is his name), it was outdoors. We had gone camping in a little-known and little-used national park. That evening, as the fire was dying down, well, things started happening. As things progressed, it started raining. Wow, that was great! These cold little drops massaging our bodies as we -- well, you know.

The next day, we hiked up the mountain and I tied him to a tree. As I was taking advantage of his vulnerable position, the park ranger walked up. He confessed that he had watched us the previous night, and then he joined in! So the lonely park ranger and I worked on Joe for about two hours.

After these two initial great sexual experiences, everything Joe and I did was kind of a let-down. Nothing else quite lived up to that. I ended up dumping him about a year later. So be warned -- If you do it outdoors, it may lead to trouble.