h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As the author of the article, I have first to say Thanks for all the nice things that various people have written about it.

During the Peer Review phase, a number of possible additions were pointed out, which I intended to incorporate in the article before it was made 'official'. Unfortunately, I have recently been ill, and was unable to 'touch up' the article. So here is what I wanted to add:-

DON'T go out in the mid-day sun (during the summer months) unless you can possibly avoid it. If you must, wear some sort of hat and stay in the shade as much as you can. Drink more water than you normally would. Remember that a full dose of sunstroke can knock you out for two or three days, whilst a mild dehydration will give you an excruciating headache for twelve hours or so afterwards. The best way to monitor your health is to check the colour of your urine. If it is clear or light-coloured you are OK, if it is dark-coloured you should drink at least a litre of water immediately.

Besides normal police (mainly occupied with trying to control the carnage on Riyadh's roads) Saudi Arabia has a second police force; the religious police, or Mutawa. Their job is to stop people (including non-Moslems) behaving in an 'inappropriate' manner, and to make sure that Moslem men don't skip Prayers. The Mutawa wear yellow-greenish shirts (the same colour as the German police, if that means anything to you) and always have beards. How active the Mutawa are depends on where in Saudi you are, and on whether the current religious-political climate in the country is 'liberal' or 'traditional'. Generally, the Mutawa are more officious in Riyadh than in other Saudi cities. If, as a Westerner, a Mutawa tells you to do something, DON'T argue. The best thing to do is to nod and walk away from him. If you are a woman, make sure that your robes are covering you as much as possible, and that your hair is covered - this is what he was probably complaining about. DON'T put him in a position where he will think he is losing face (i.e., if he thinks you are 'dissing' him.) It's fair to say that the Mutawa are not popular with either Expats or Saudi nationals, as they're widely perceived as being the sort of people that like having authority, but are not intelligent or well-educated enough to join the regular police or the military. Most of them can't or won't speak English, and, if they feel they are not getting the obedience they expect, they will 'express themselves' using the sticks they all carry.

Just stay out of their way, observe the 'Dos and Don'ts' and the Mutawa shouldn't hassle you.

DO check when Ramadan is. (In the Western year 2000, it was in December, but is moves forward by 11 days every year, so in 2001 it will start in mid-November.) During Ramadan, almost no work gets done, and the Saudis spend most of the day sleeping and most of the night partying. As a non-Moslem, during Ramadan make sure you DON'T eat, drink or smoke in public. (Most large Hotels, Offices etc will have a room set aside where non-Moslems can break the fast during the hours of daylight.)

Finally, if you visit Saudi Arabia, DON'T be arrogant (remember that, to Saudis, it is our lifestyle that is bizarre and contains much that is morally unacceptable, not theirs.) But, on the other hand, DON'T be paranoid. Although there are a handful of extremists who resent the very idea of non-Moslems being in Saudi Arabia, I get the impression that the vast majority of Saudi nationals actually quite enjoy the presence of Westerners in their country, provided they don't misbehave. Like people everywhere, they don't care about politics - for them the presence of Westerners is probably a sign that there is another, exotic world outside the boundaries of the Kingdom, and they probably take pride in the fact that their country is important enough (and rich enough) for the Westerners to have to be there.

Do not assume that Mutawein (plural of mutawa) will gratify you by wearing green shirts for identification. Avoid ANY man with an untrimmed beard. Mutawein also tend to wear shorter thobes (robes) coming about 8 inches to a foot above the ground and also usually wear the head cloth (gutra) withOUT the two black bands (the agayl). During prayer time do not 'window' shop in Riyadh, particularly in the neighborhood of the 'new' Gold souk which the Westerners call 'Seiko' street. (near the Mismak fortress).
My experience with sellers in Saudi was very pleasant, and I would highly recommend that visitors check out the carpet souk and the spice souk. All sellers when last I was in Riyadh were not Saudis, they were Indian, Egyptian, or anything BUT Saudi. This may be changing, but I never felt that sellers were particularly aggressive - certainly not in comparison with other countries I have visited.
An added problem with streets is that there is an official name - posted or not - and a local name. Thus official King Feisal street is commonly called 'Wazeer' street by every one. in addition there is often an expat name given to help tell each other where something is located, so Westerners refer to Seiko Street, Chicken Street and Pepsi--Cola road, which are not even the local 'nickname' (by the way - do not use the term 'nickname' - nick means something VERY rude in Arabic!). Do not shorten names to 'Mo' for Mohammed or "ab' for abdullah. nickknames are an insult, especially shortening the name of the Prophet. The most common nicknames allowed are 'abu' - combined with the name of the man's oldest son or daughter - so King Abdulaziz was called 'abuTurki' after his oldest son, Prince Turki.
Other nicknames may exist and are preceded with abu also (e.g. Abu Shenob for a man with a very large mustache). But unless you are tipped off that it would be acceptable to do otherwise, use full names in speaking to friends.
The term chadour is Persian, I believe - the Saudis call the black garment an 'abbaya'. Another thing to be careful about importing is any pork product - sausage or leather that is identifiably pigskin. And anything with the label showing it is from Israel. In considering magazines (and watch those book and CD covers too) - avoid not only nudity, but any male/female touching - especially kissing. Fill page ads for whiskey are not too wise either.
Don't think you can transport clear booze in water bottles and reseal them - they know that trick and will often open them randomly and smell. Especially if you are in an accident (I loved driving there - but it IS a learned skill.).
Re taxis - Always try to get what is called a limosine - NOT a yellow cab. Yellow cab drivers are Saudis and they will drive terribly and haggle over prices. the limos are the same price range (cheap!) and are driven by Indians and other foreigners and they are much better drivers AND will stick to the agreed price. Limos are not fancy - they are just not yellow - usually they are white, but they do have a light on top. If there is no meter - ask the price first. they will stick to the agreed price - tho a tip is not unwelcome!
You are losing out on a great experience if you avoid the more local markets in favor of the upscale shopping centers (although these must be seen to be believed - wretched excess!). Souk al-Batha (bat - ha, not bath - a) and the old gold souk and the spice and cheap clothing souks just beyond it are a lot of fun.
Finally, guys walking alone may get hit on. Don't get upset and DON't start a fight. They take 'no' for an answer and it is not personal. Westerners have a rep for being available - yes, men too, and many Saudis, kept separate from women and unable to afford a bride price will look for the next best thing - just like people in jail in the West. (and if you are inclined to say 'yes' remember it is a capital offense so never do anything in a public place)
Any attempt to speak Arabic is greeted very favorably - even by cops. Also dressing in local clothes ( for men) - the robe, not necessarily the headgear - gets a positive reaction, altho other Westerners will tell you not to - but if you do this, be more careful to keep Saudi customs (don't have a mustache that covers the opening of the mouth at all, or long hair) and in sitting, don't show the bottom of the foot to anyone IF you are wearing a shoe or sandal. Bare or with a sock is ok)
Riyadh is a wonderful chance to see how a culture lives when it is not trying to kowtow to western tourists. I recommend it to anyone who has a sense of adventure and who can find a way to get there.

One more thing that is great fun, if you are not a fanatic non-smoker, is to go to a sheisha (hooka or hubbly-bubbly) restaurant. For about $1.00 US you will be brought a large sheisha with a fresh wad of aged, gummy tobacco and hot charcoal in it. you will also be given a small sqaure of foil to cover the mouthpiece so that your cooties will not intermingle with those of persons who come before or after. Some of these restaurants are very fancy with mirrors and lounges; many are very simple with wooden benches or just cushions on the floor or ground. there will be carpets on the ground or floor. Some serve a hot ginger drink which you need to sip very slowly, because if quickly swallowed, it might come back up as quickly as it went down. It is GINGER-Y! Also, of course the hot sweet tea will be served (for a small price) in the usual tiny glasses and you may also get the green Arabic coffee - which is an acquired taste - with grounds present and lots of cardamom. I thought it mostly tasted like wet cardboard. Just for added info, a gas (or petrol) station is often called a sheisha, because the pumps resemble waterpipes with their long rubber gas hoses attached.

Great information!!

I think 'Chicken Street' must be the road the people I was with called 'The Ben Johnson Highway'. The joke was that only the steroid-assisted Canadian sprinter would be able to run fast enough to cross it unscathed.