If you wish to accept an individual for who they are, despite the fact that they do not respect you, that is not tolerance, that is being polite. If you wish to refuse to associate with an individual because you cannot stand to be in the same room with them, that is not intolerance, that is honesty. If you would like to learn to associate with someone who actually hates you, that is not tolerance, that is charity.

Tolerance is that overbearing, unreasonable sense of entitlement that allows one to believe that one is permitting the unsuitable individual to exist within the sphere of one's awareness. With it comes the disgusting unspoken conclusion that if one did not wish to tolerate anymore, then one can and will banish or destroy the unwanted visitor.

We have been taught by the pundits and the pedants that tolerance is preferable to hate. Death is death, people. Whether by bullet, bomb, bayonet or billet doux, an averted glance, a muttered disavowal, or a frozen smile, tolerance is just hate with a blunted blade.

Children make poor warriors. When wannabe adults teach them that people who are different from them should be allowed their differences but mommy and daddy would really prefer that their own children not join in the differences nor associate too closely with them, then the war is on. The schools can teach their tolerance screed, but the message has been passed on. The odd thing is that the parents apparently once went to school themselves, but the message of their generation has not been modified.

As an Asperger's individual, I will always be different. I have, throughout my life, acted in a very strange manner. Over the years, I have learned to sense when people are tolerating me. It would save time if they just told me to go away. I know where I am accepted for who I am. To my cat I am a source of warmth and food. To my daughter I am the one who tries to tell her the truth. Beyond them, very often I am not willing to make the effort to fit in or engage in tolerance of my own. If I don't like you, I will be polite, up to a point. I am in customer service on my job. If I like you, I will probably be slightly more effusive. I am surrounded by a multi-cultural community. I don't like or dislike cultures. I take people one by one, unless they clump together in groups and deny their individuality. Then it becomes me against a mob. I can be a very big me. A very unreasonable and intolerant me.

I try to behave. I know I didn't get to choose whether my parents were black or white, Muslim or Pagan. I know I make certain anachronistic choices in my clothing, hairstyle, shaving preferences, that might set up preconceived notions in other people. I supposed I have choices, that I could change to make people happy or wander into work naked and bald... but that seems to creat a few problems also.

I guess I could change my speech habits and vocabulary to meet the prevailing popular cultural decisions at this time, try to fit in linguistically, learn some more Spanish, more Creole, more German, Greek, Latvian and Texican. I guess I'm just selfish in just trying to be the best me that I can. Maybe those who dislike me or even hate me are entitled to rail against the big fat white, Englisch-shpeaking stereotypical icon that I be. Hmm, given enough time and thought, I could even learn to hate me. But for now, I think I'll just tolerate myself until someone smarter than I comes along to teach me how to become something better.