h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We were pure and noble, we walked up....

The top of the Orme is NOT a place for women to wear skirts, btw, not unless you want the hem to keep your neck warm. It gets quite breezy up there!

Also: DO NOT eat in that bloody cafe on the top. They fleece you more thoroughly than the sheep. Bring your own food and drink with you and eat "al fresco", it's cheaper and more fun!

Nice to see that tourists are still as tight fisted as ever. surely most people take the tram ride for the nostalgia of it all and to do something a little different, taking a taxi defeats the object. I mean, how often in your normal working life do you take a Victorian tram from place to place?

Your on a break for gods sake, loosen the purse strings!

This post has been removed.

I'm hoping this train of thought can be steered so it doesn't cause offence to anyone (please accept this isn't my intention), but every time I've been to the top of the Orme, there always seems to be a large party of Orthodox Jews up there. The attraction is probably the same as for any other visitors - it's a nice day out for the family, it's a nice place to visit, there's a real sense of achievement in getting to the top, regardless of how you travel - and the only reason why they stick out, as opposed to a coach party from Dublin (and there's aslways at least one Irish tour coach in the hotel car park at the foot of the Orme), is that they dress and look so distinctive that they couldn't possibly be anything else. Everyone else sinks back into what might be called universal western european dress obscurity and only displays their nationality/ethnicity via speech. (Welsh, Irish, English, et c)

I'm not sure what to say here as this paragraph contained the crux of the story I was telling - and I still stress and maintain that it was not meant to offend, slight, nor be anti-Semitic in any way. But this paragraph might just conceivably have been thought of as maintaining a stereotype often used in deliberately racist humour about Jewish people. It was the only part of the original that read back to me as being in any way at all dodgy, and I guess I'm going to have to lose it.


But this news article was somewhat humorous and I present it here as it related to the topic of the thread.

http://www.thejc.com/news/uk-news/a-not-so-orthodox-law-road-13-a-volvo

To explain, the only road leading up to the top of the Orme is so incredibly steep for the first five hundred yards that even a normally loaded car is sitting on its back bumper. The gradient really is that steep - it's possibly a survival of an older road that wasn't meant for motor traffic. Try to ascend it with thirteen kids in the back seat - well, you have no bloody chance, not even with God on your side, doing a Rabbi Blue to the driver and whispering "Oi gevalt, Abraham, do you think this is a good idea? I only parted the Red Sea for My people, levelling out this gradient is going to take a miracle, and fending off the chariots of the North Wales Police is totally beyond Me. Have you seen the zero tolerance policy they take on motoring offences? " et c et c.

And, posted seperately just in case it doesn't pass the taste test, the punchline was God saying to the car driver just as he got busted by the G.C. Heddlu's finest

"Oi, Abie, you should have paid for the tram, vay!"

Rather this on its own was lost than the whole posting!