Grant Tooklah

There are races in the galaxy that make things happen. From
great warrior species such as the Brün and the Ytklill to skilled architects like the Gleebs
and marvelous
technological geniuses like the Silicoids. Being a successful life form has it's
advantages and its disadvantages; one of the latter being Grant Tooklah. No one is entirely
sure as to which race should be thanked for bringing Tooklah into existence and there is little chance
that anyone will be stepping forward to accept the responsibility anytime soon. You see, Grant Tooklah has gone
through his very long life as a shameless suck-up to the successful. It is said that even the Gleebs were unable to
resist his toadying. Out of desperation, it is said, the Gleebs granted Tooklah an apartment in the Umpteenth that he might
sit with them the next time the universe is destroyed. Tooklah, it seems, is now immortal.

Tooklah is of the standard bipedal-humanoid format. He is hairless, thin, and entirely lacking
in personal pride- "a gift from God", by his own definition. It is said that if the great Ytklillian general,
Pompinstompf were to have known ahead of time that Tooklah awaited his arrival in Knobbenhoff
during the Great Sugar-Candy War, that the General would have gladly taken his own life long before
entering the city. As it was Pompinstompf's ability to resist the repetitive-toadying of Tooklah was the most durable
ever recorded. He gave up his entire caché of cherry-nougut after a full 48.5 seconds.

...soon thereafter
Sgt. Martin came to my side. "General, the gates have been smashed. We await your orders." The smell of candy was in the
air. My tummy growled. I gave the order to enter Knobbenhoff and to prepare the populace for my grand entrance. I donned
my ceremonial uniform, affixed my obscenly-huge sword to my side and strode through the gates. It was wonderfully quiet.
The people were scared stiff. Soon I would be dining on confections. CONFECTIONS!! The red carpet was nicely
fringed in gold and a small Knobbenhoffian girl tossed hard candies at my feet as I proudly made my way forward. I began
the tiring climb up the stairs leading to the podium -stopping once or twice to catch my breath.
As I rose to the landing I beheld a small bent figure. There he was! The Potentate
of Knobbenhoff! HE held the key! HE was the Keeper of Confection. I smiled between gasps.
No...I leered! Laughing I said, "Potentate, I demand the Key! It is mine by right! Your armies have been vanquished!
Hand it over and be glad that I do not raze this entire planet!" He never looked up. He just pointed. Pointed at a man
that had up to then been unnoticed. The man smiled, held up the key and said, "Oooh!! Are you the great Popminstomph?!?!"
It was Tooklah...Grant Tooklah. I knew then that I had lost. That we had lost!