A few years ago, Torquay United served some of the best pasties at any football club in Britain, according to a supporters' poll. But the food at Plainmoor has, in recent years, taken a bit of a downturn. Cold chips were served soggy in bags, Bovril was frequently unavailable, and the sausage rolls usually ran out just before half-time. Last season, the new board made significant changes around the club and, having revolutionised the footballing structure, this year they have turned their attention to the food available in the ground. Fearlessly, my brother and I went to investigate.

The concept of Plainmoor is a rather unusual one for most restaurant-goers. For a start, the place charges admission—£15 before you've even had anything to eat! There are also four different areas in which you can eat, known as the Popular Side, the Family Stand, the Grandstand and the Babbacombe Away End. Once inside, the diner is greeted with a scruffy but cheerful counter, almost like a bar, where you simply order your food, wait a few moments, and the food is popped into your hand. You pay when you order, rather than at the end of your meal, and cash is the only acceptable form of payment.

To further complicate matters, no tables are provided for diners. Instead, a series of waiters dressed in high-visibility jackets direct you into a large standing area capable of accommodating several hundred people, most of whom have apparently come to watch the day's entertainment rather than to eat. This entertainment is provided by a group of young men who rather incompetently chase a football around a field for an hour and a half. It is certainly a novel experience.

The menu at Plainmoor is an unusual one. Eschewing modern trends for healthy food and international cuisine, it specialises in high-fat, high-cholesterol junk food, deep-fried or covered in pastry. The main thrust of the menu is burgers, which range from a rather cheap 'plain burger' up to the 'belly buster', which comes covered in bacon and cheese. In addition, pasties and sausage rolls are served, and all can be supplemented with a side order of chips. Vegetarians are surprisingly well catered for, with a choice of five varieties of vegetable and bean burgers.

The choice of drinks is a little limited, though there is a good range of hot drinks and just about every variety of fizzy drink you can think of. Alcoholic drinks are off the menu completely, and my request to see the wine list was laughed at in a rather rude manner. There are also few desserts on offer, and they consist of pre-packaged snacks with names such as Mars and Snickers.

Despite the limited selection, the food itself is reasonable enough, albeit in a kind of 'fills a hole' sort of way rather than being a culinary delight. The cost of admission makes it rather expensive compared to other cafes and restaurants providing food of a similar standard. 5/10

As I said above, most people had gone for the entertainment rather than the food, and it was at times rather difficult to see why. The act encouraged audience participation, with the diners singing songs to encourage the 'players' and also heckling them on occasion. It is difficult to explain exactly what went on, but there were two groups of improvisational performers dressed in different colours, each trying to impress the crowd with their skills at kicking the football around. There was also a kind of pantomime villain dressed in black, and he and his two assistants came in for the most barracking—some rather rude and unrepeatable things were shouted at them, particularly about their parentage. Still, there must have been something going for it. Many of the crowd were dressed in the same colours as the performers, which we took to be a sign that they were regular visitors, although one man next to us shouted at one point that he'd 'been coming for 40 years to watch this rubbish'. I wondered why he didn't just find another restaurant. 2/5

The service was surprisingly good. With over 2,000 diners to feed in less than two hours, the staff did a wonderful job, particularly when the performers took a break halfway through. At this point most of the diners made their way to the service counter for refreshments and long queues formed, but the chefs kept the line moving and everyone was back in their place for the restart. Fairly impressive 4/5

A novel experience, if a little pricey, and one that would perhaps be a little different on a rainy evening in February. It was certainly an improvement on previous visits, and let's hope it goes from strength to strength. 5½/10

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