A Conversation for Bullying

Mental representation

Post 1

baadmonkey - the little hand says its time to rock and roll...

As a child I was horrifically bullied, but, similar to one of the researchers, I had a growth spurt that put paid to that. However, I now work on the door of nightclubs, and I find myself back in the same situation again. Everyone around you is much bigger and nastier, and, most importantly, don't really need a reason to hit you. Although not a small man, I'm certainly not the biggest gent in our team, which makes me a target for those punters who enjoy going out solely to fight, doormen providing, as they do, easy access to violence on account of the "bouncer" reputation.
Quite simply, the easiest way to stop these scenes is one of mental representation. The people that enjoy fighting, in this case the bullies, aren't going to be the brightest tools in the box are they? And, from bitter experience, most people have a series of mental "build-ups" that they'll go through, consciously or sub-consciously, that releases the adrenaline that's neccessary to fight.

All you need to do is stop them before they get there.

In the same way that, if you show fear before an aggressive dog, you will make it more inclined to attack, to show its superiority over you, it works the same for bullies. If you are forced into a situation when violence would appear to be unavoidable, then it is important to dominate the situation from the beginning. I would hasten to add at this point, that if there is any way in which you can avoid it, then you should.
However, if it becomes likely that violence is about to ensue, then you need to nip it in the bud. You stop them before they get all worked up, humiliate them, use all and any means at your disposal to stop them getting to that adrenaline release, which is where you will have to fight.
If all this fails, then take up a martial art. I personally would reccomend one of the more obscure ones such as Eskrima or Jeet Kune Do, both of which deal with realistic combat situations, as opposed to the more structured studio-based Karate and Judo.

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