Over the years, as society becomes more accepting of LBGT people, more and more of them are discovering their sexuality at increasingly younger ages to the point that a large number lesbian, gay, bi or trans people identified themselves as such while they were teenagers. At this turbulent time of young people's lives, it can be difficult for teenagers to come to terms with their sexuality and to negotiate their way through school and life outside it.

When M2M2 regular Babs was 17 years old, he decided to write about his experiences as a gay teenager, to help both people like himself and their parents. As he said at the time:

As a gay teen myself I can sympathise with the inner struggles and pain that gay teenage boys go through. So I thought that I would try to offer some support for the gay teens out there ...

Dealing With Bullies

As a teenager, especially when you are younger and starting to explore the feelings within, life can feel so confusing, not fully understanding the feelings inside and because of bullying at school. Like most gay teenagers I was bullied for my sexuality, even though I wasn't out. I didn't feel that I could tell anybody about what was happening or how I was feeling. This bullying went on for several years and eventually my work started to suffer at school.

By the time I was 15 I thought to myself, 'Hey, I'm not going to let a group of homophobic closed-minded people ruin my life!!'. So I grew in confidence and became a more out-going, confident person and showed the bullies that I was no longer scared of them. The most important thing is not to listen to what these bullies are saying, because being gay is not a disease, is not abnormal and doesn't need to be 'cured' as some homophobic religious groups insist.

This is a really important step in accepting who you are and will ensure that you are better equipped to deal with bullies. It will also help you on the road to coming out.

Coming Out

Before I came out to anyone I found that reading magazines such as Attitude or Gay Times helped me to learn more about being gay, accepting who you are, and they also give advice on other aspects of life such as sex, the law and finance. They are full of interviews and reviews with gay people. Reading these articles provided me with gay role models, people who made me realise that you can be gay and successful. You may find that you will learn a lot from these, and similar, publications.

On the issue of coming out, I don't really feel that it is possible to give much advice. I know that there are lots of books and websites etc. that try to tell you what it might be like and how to act, but my advice is that it is a unique experience and does not just end when you have told your parents. As you are building up friendships throughout your life, coming out is something you will find yourself doing surprisingly frequently, and it gets that little bit easier every time you do it.

What Next?

After you have come out for the first time, you generally face the question 'so now what?!' This is the time when you can decide what to do with your newly gayified life! This is a really important time in your life and will enable you to show the world exactly who you really are - be it a 'screaming queen' dressing up in drag each weekend or a quieter, more reserved homosexual. It's up to you how you act, and contrary to popular (hetero) belief, not all gay people are the same. Now is the time for you to show the world who you are and tell them that you are damned proud of it!!

I was 16 when I came out, and now at 17, I am a proud gay teenager; I even went to Pride in Brighton and Hove this year. I don't feel the need to wear different clothes, put on an awkward walk, develop a love of musicals or become an airline cabin-crew member (no offence to any of the above, you are all lovely people!) to delineate myself from my heterosexual counterparts, but equally I will not deny my sexuality.

Your teenage years really can be the most fun, so I'm told(!), and being 17 now, I don't intend to waste the rest of them, and neither should you! So go out on The Scene - be it Soho in London, St James' in Brighton, Canal Street in Manchester or wherever you are in the world! Go out and enjoy yourself, and most importantly of all, just be yourself!

This entry, really, is built around my personal experiences of growing up gay, in - fortunately - a city with one of the highest gay populations in the United Kingdom: Brighton and Hove. Hopefully, it will give you some idea as to the what growing up as a gay teen can be like, and can be of use whether you are a gay teen yourself, or even a parent of a newly-outed son.