Konstanz am Bodensee

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<P>Konstanz (or Constance, as some people may be more familiar with) is a smallish town of around 80-90,000 people situated on the western shore of Lake Bodensee in the south west corner of Germany that borders Switzerland.</P>
<P>Boasting the start of the River Rhein, which splits the city in two, Konstanz is easily divided into three distinct zones. North of the river lies the residential area and industrial estate; whilst south of the river Is the old town, which houses the administrative center and shopping facilities. </P>
<P>The town has a quite chequered history. I could pretend to be knowledgeable and write some of it here, but you can find a far more succinct version in the <A HREF="http://www.britannica.com/bcom/eb/article/8/0,5716,47098+1+46024,00.html">Encylopaedia Britannica</A>, and I'd probably be told off for copying it verbatim.</P>
<H3>Things to see.</H3>
<P>Although it is popular as a tourist destination, mostly with other Germans, the pace of life in Konstanz is somewhat akin to cycling through fudge. If you're looking for a wild time, go to Munich. If you want to spend some time relaxing in some amazingly beautiful scenery, (Ok, my standards are low, I've spent most of my life in Leicester and Stafford) then this is the place to be. The lake is surrounded by high rolling hills covered with evergreen forests. The view of the lake from one of the small villages in these hills is fantastic, and made breathtaking my the usual early summer morning mist.</P>
<P>You should be able cover most of the sights and attractions in around a week. These are mostly buildings and monuments of historical interest. Konstanz was the home of Count Ferdinand von <A HREF=http://www.h2g2.com/A320257>Zeppelin</A>. There is a moument to him in the park by the harbour, and he has a building which is now a hotel and restaurant. Don't stay there though. It's quite cheap, but the rooms are dingy as hell, which belies it's very nicely painted facade.</P>
<P>Most of the interesting buildings are in the Aldstadt, which is quite small if a little twisty and disorienting. There is a majestic cathedral, a couple of churches and some towers, one of which marks the starting point of the Rhein. Outside the Altstadt, take a bus to Bismarcksteig and walk up the hill to Bismarcksturm, the tower at the top of the hill that can see from most of the town. This spot is favoured by romantic type and/or drunk people as a place to sit and watch the sun set, with a nice view (again) of the lake and town. </P>
<P>Beyond this tower, further north lies the University. This sprawling establishment is some kind of weird architectural acid trip of a building. The library itself is worth seeing (if you can get in) just for the fun factor of trying to get out again. Colditz escapees had it easy. There is a ten minute walk to the halls of residence down which you can expect to have any semblance of a conversation drowned out by the constant croaking of thousands of frogs getting desperate for a shag, but only in the early summer mating season.</P>
<H3>Things to do.</H3>
<P>As you might expect from any small industrial town, there is very little in the way of commercial entertainment in Konstanz. There's a decent array of shops in the town centre, where you'll find (thanks to the current exchaneg rate, around DM3.20 to the pound) most things are reasonably priced, with two exceptions; booze and fags. Thanks to low taxes, cigarettes are still DM5 for 19, you can buy a crate of Becks for DM18 and a litre of crap vodka for DM10. Bargain. Also, now we have more releaxed EU customs laws, you can bring back about as much as you can (un)comfortably carry as hand luggage.</P>
<P>Konstanz is a very cycling oriented town, Most major roads have marked cyle lanes or divided pavements. Out of the town, there are uncountable miles of gravel tracks through seemingly endless forests. It's very, very easy to get lost if you don't have a map and a good sense of direction. (or a compass) You also need to be reasonably fit, as the hills can seriously damage your legs.</P>
<P>If walking is more your thing then you should start by following the costal path out of town to the east, starting on the north side of the main road bridge. After a couple of miles you'll reach the "beach", situated right the armpit of the lake. (if you don't know the shape of the lake, it's sort of like the Red Sea, only smaller and on its side) this beach is really just a grassy park area with changing facilities for those who want to swim and general park-type swings and roundabouts stuff. At the back end of the beach there's a hedged off naturist area. Avoid this if you're not too keen on unnecessarily hairy people.</P>
<P>Down by the Swiss border in the Altstadt you'll find the Sea-Life centre, which is the local piscene menagerie. If the publicitiy is to be believed, this is the "only inland marine zoo in Europe". Odd, that. Having never acutally been there, that's about all I can say on the place.</P>
<P>This is pretty much your lot within the town limits.</P>
<H3>Eating and Drinking.</H3>
<P>If your as uncultured and as unfit as myself, you'll be bored of the above lot within 3 days. Eating out every night is actually quite feasible even for those on a tight budget. One of the most expensive restaurants we could find was in the hotel facing the train station (Hotel Halm, I think) Even there, you can expect to pay no more than DM40-50 per head for a decent meal. Two doors down from this is a small local restaurant called <B>McDonalds</B>. If your German is rubbish, you should still have no trouble saying "Big Mac", although it's pronounced more like "Big Meck". There are far better places to eat, and they're almost as cheap. There's a good choice of styles; several greek restaurants, a couple of Turkish, plenty of varying local places and an Irish pub (<B>Tir na Nog</B> in the Altstadt) that serves, or at least used to serve as far as I know, fantastic steaks.</P>
<P>The two turkish places, <B>Eumel</B> and <B>Sedir</B>, both in the Altstadt, serve huge portions of pizza, pasta and salads for stupifyingly cheap prices. A meal for two in either of them, with drinks, will cost little more than DM30. The Greek places serve equally excellent food for not much more. </P>
<P>Once you've finished your meal, You'll find that Konstanz offers a wide variety of ways to get completely plastered. Licensing laws permit all pubs to open until 1AM, and clubs to open until 5AM. After that there's always the vending machines, although you'll only find them behind locked doors such as in your hotel or student halls. Worshippers of the brown and foamy God will be aware of the German reputation for brewing excellent beer. Most pubs will have a good selection of draught and bottled drinks.</P>
<P><B>The Shamrock</B> (Bahnhofstrasse, just opposite the station), is the pub where I spent a quarter of my life and my wages over the couse of a year, so please forgive this shameless plug. Tell Eoin the landlord that Terry sent you and he might even buy me a drink next time I go back. It's great place, with an incredibly friendly atmosphere, and a good selection of live music.<BR/>
The <B>Kloster Kellar</B> is tucked down a back street in the Altstadt, (I'll be updating this with streeet names when I can find my old map) has to be to weirdest pub I've ever seen. I've heard reports that it has sold out recently but it's probably still worth a visit. It's basically an old underground bunker full of tables with a bar at one end. The roof is domed brick, and every inch of the walls is covered with christian and calssical music based artifacts. Paintings, ornaments, sheet music, family trees, intermingle with the low lighting from strings of white fairy lights. Couple this with the fact that you'll probably be the only person in there, and it's one hell of a scary place to have a drink.<BR/>
In the warmer months, the <B>Hafen Halle</B> opens up which is nothing much more than a couple of sheds and a vast beer garden looking out over the harbour. They serve a basic array of bottles and food, for example a paper plate with a small round bun and a sausage the size of your forearm. If you enjoy barbecues where someone else does all the work. This is perfect.<BR/>
Moving on to clubs, there's not really much choice as far as style goes. All the clubs in Konstanz have much the same look and feel as your average cheesy city-centre UK club, with two major differences. The music consists of everything you usually hate about city-centre clubs plus classics from David Hasselhof and numerous dire German acts. The other major difference is hair. Horrific as it may seem, the Rat's Tail hair cut is still being practised my some sadists in Germany, blatantly flouting clause 23 of the Geneva convention on the use of haircuts of mass destruction. (probably) The Mullet, of course, still features heavily amongst the German males.<BR/>
Coming back to the subject, for pure novelty value, there's the <B>Tanzschiff</B>, opposite the Hafen Halle. It's a club with the 'amazing' twist of being on a permanently moored converted passenger ferry. In the Altstadt you have <B>Small Talk</B> and <B>Heile Welt</B>, both as bad as each other. Out in the Industrial zone there's <B>Skyline</B>, Which makes your average Ritzy look like Gatecrasher. Next to it is a pub with pool tables, half decent food and a 5AM license though. Its name eludes me, and I think it's changed since I was last there. Further North is the <B>Kultur Laden</B>. The music here has more of an Indie bent, and avoids the worst of the cheese to be found in the others. It's generally more fun to be in, due to the fact that it's the closest real club to the university, aside from its own venues.</P>
<H3>Get out</H3>
<P>Most of the things you'll want to do are outside the town itself. Here's a few of the likely places...</P>
<B>Mainau</B>. On the north finger of the lake is an island connected to the mainland by a road bridge, The entire island is sort of like the German version of Blenheim Palace. The empahsis here, is on the flower gardens, with lots of incredibly impressive displays, even to someone like me, who knows next to nothing about plants. Entry is quite expensive, around DM20-30 per person.<BR/>
<B>Meersburg</B>. A 30 minute ferry ride from the town (10, if you get the bus to the vehicle ferry first) Meersburg is a small historical castle town that's now mostly a tourist trap. Set on a steep hill, the castle, which has (yet another) great view of the lake, is apparently the oldest standing castle in Europe. ropes and signs carefully guide you around a set path through the rooms, which are decorated in styles dating back to some time in the 11th century. This castle was also the home of Anette von Dorste-Hulshoff, face of 20 Mark note. While you're there. visit one of the 6,700 (or thereabouts) ice cafes all of which serve some quality ice cream.<BR/>
<B>Kreuzlingen</B>, the Swiss town that sits on the other side of the border is worth a visit or two if you can be bothered to change currencies (some larger shops will accept DM though). Don't forget to take your passport. If you're lucky, you'll encounter an incredibly bureaucratic border guard, who will treat you like an illegal immigrant even though you just want to get some even cheaper booze from the supermarket up the road. It may not be cheaper now, though as the Swiss are not in the EU and hence the Franc is not tied to the Euro, and isn't suffering from its current low value. Apart from cosmetic differences, however, the towns are much the same, so don't exepct a lot.<BR/>
<B>Singen + Radolfzell</B> are both short train rides out of Konstanz. Both are much the same, very picturesque and very similar. Good for a change of scene if you're going to be around for a long time.<P>
<P>Further afield, Konstanz is about 90 minutes from Strasbourg, an hour from Stuttgart, and 5 hours (on a slow train) to Munich.</P>
<H3>Travel</H3>
<B>Getting There</B>. The best way to get to it from the UK, is to fly to Zurich from Stanstead, Heathrow or Gatwick (£100-£130, around 90 Minutes) and get one of the regular trains (£15-20, about 1 hour) This was the only method I used, but, I'm told, for slightly less money you can Get the Eurostar to Paris, and take the sleeper to Stuttgart, changing there.
<B>Once you're there</B> there is a very regular and efficient bus service. They charge one price for any journey, so you can buy small books of tickets in advance. The price is DM2,80 for a single and a book of four for DM10. Students can buy a bargain six month unlimited usage pass for DM50 (probably a bit more now, that price was 4 years ago).<BR/>
<B>Ferries</B>. There are regular ferries running to pretty much all of the towns around the shore of the lake. A leisurely 2/3 hour cruise will take you to Bregenz, the only Austrian city, in the south east corner of the lake. Here you can take a cable car up into the ear-poppingly high hills for (wait for it) a fantastic view of the lake, and a panoramic view of the Alps to the south.<BR/>
<B>Trains</B>The Schones Wockenende ticket is still available allowing you as much passage on any slow train anywhere in Germany for you and up to 4 other people for DM35 (Again pricing may have gone up since then). The determined can make it to Berlin in 24 hours for nothing, just by cadging a lift with other groups of less than 5 people. To use the fast trains, you have to shell out vast sums to travel any great distance. Again the service is fast, efficient, and punctual even through the bleakest Black Forest winter.
<B>Cars</B>. Not being able to drive, I can't say much here, save that the traffic never seemed to have major problems within the town and the nearest autobahn is 20-30 minutes away.</P>
<H3>Hotels</H3>
<P>There's a good range of choice of lodgings, from the cheap (DM80-90 a night) to the expensive (DM250-350 a night) There's also a Youth Hostel out towards the beach. There's a list of Hotels on the web somewhere, I'll post a link when I can find it again.</P>
<P>We recently stayed at the <B>Graf <A HREF=http://www.h2g2.com/A320257>Zeppelin</A> Gebaude</B>. As mentioned above. Avoid it if you can, it's more than a bit ropey.
<H3>Links</H3>
<P>Various bits and pieces of information elsewhere that I could dig up.</P>
<B>Auf Deutsch</B><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.konstanz.de/">The Town</A><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.fh-konstanz.de/">The College</A><BR/>
<A HREF="http://www.uni-konstanz.de/">The University</A><BR/>
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