Once again we are beholden to the current executors of the Knolly estate for letting us publish this, the second package of the great man's journals and memoirs.

I arrived home and fumbled in my pockets for my watch - not a good sign. It was a little after six, but it felt like it was much later than that. The instant sobriety mixture was now approaching the end of its thirty minute life-cycle; its effects were starting to wear off, and the previous effects began to re-appear. My legs and feet seemed to belong to someone else and so I must have looked like some poor unfortunate cripple as I got out of the carriage and ambled painfully across the drive to the Hall. Clearly I was in no fit state to manage all of the stairs up to my room and so Sol-Tan escorted me and bade me good night outside the door. As he strode off back to whatever work awaited him, I pulled myself together and tried to stretch out my cramping toes within my shoes. It was hard work and I had to resort to some of the more exotic Chinese disciplines - but my extremities soon started to come back to life. Quite out of breath, I quietly knocked and then opened the door to our room to see a bizarrely-attired Elspeth before me prancing around on and off the bed, swinging around the posts at each end. The vision was somewhat alluring to say the least, and if I may be so bold in my honesty, a certain other of my extremities was quite taken by the scene.

Elspeth didn’t notice me and so I stood propped up against the doorframe, quietly watching this exhibition. Not very gentlemanly I know, but then I have the ale to blame.

I coughed politely. This brought her to a halt mid-spring; she slowly slid around the end post to face me.

'You ... ER ....... Found what you were looking for in the trunk, I assume?'

'Oh! Well yes I did,' replied Elspeth. 'And then I thought I’d try one of the articles to test its flexibility, movement and comfort before handing them over to Charlie. What do you think?'

She struck a pose and the view left little to my imagination. I gripped the doorframe to steady myself.

Elspeth had searched the trunk and found one of the many leotards that Bertie had mistakenly picked up as part of Felicity’s belongings during our hasty flight from Walvis Bay. How she knew they were in there, I'm not sure. I can only surmise that she had sorted through all of our belongings prior to sending them back to England - which is why she was so alarmed about the contents falling out earlier. The costume she was wearing was one of Felicity’s less spangly versions in a shade of very dark purple that was almost black. Who knows why she had wanted something so drab by her standards, unless my old nemesis Kite had commissioned it for specific nefarious purposes?

'I’m not sure what this is for, though,' she said as she took something off the bed and held it towards me. 'I did try it on for size, but it kept falling over my eyes.'

I took the object and associated harness from her hands.

'Um... Errr .... It was in the trunk then was it? With the ER.. Clothing stuff Bertie acquired from Felicity?'

Why yes, it was. I thought that it was some sort of elephant mask. See? This is the trunk,' she said earnestly as she waggled the sausage-like appendage under my nose. 'You told me that Felicity was with a travelling show.'

'Yes, that's true - but certainly not the type of show that I could ever have taken you to.'

I was sobering up very quickly now without any medicinal assistance. To make matters worse, I had a flashback to an image of Bertie cavorting like a loon with the widow's comforter on his head whilst singing 'Here’s a happy elephant!' which was all much to the delight of the girls at the Walvis Bay Saloon.

I shook my head to clear the memory and shuffled over to sit down on the bed. Elspeth bounced up next to me.

'Er... Elspeth, let me explain. It’s not for pretending to be an elephant, more for pretending to be a ... er ... a man.'

'A man! Well, one can only assume that it was for impersonating Mr Punch or someone else with a very long nose.'

I closed my eyes to give myself more time to think, but it was no use. The truth was the only way out of this predicament.

'Elspeth, you do not wear it on your head, more around the waist. It is a device for women who impersonate men, and in particular, the sort of women who find other women attractive and ....'

Elspeth was looking at me with look of realisation and amazement slowly dawning on her face.

'Oh!....Oh!! ... Oh well, I think we can safely pack it away then, can't we? Bertie won’t be looking for it, will he?'

'No dearest he won’t and neither do I think that we should mention this discussion with him. However, it has reminded me of something he sent in his reply to my telegram.'

She looked at me, head tilted on one side. 'You do look a little worse for wear. How much did you have to drink while you were out?'

'I think, my dear, that my current pallor is not only down to drink, but also down to finding one's pregnant wife skipping around the bedroom in such a costume.'

'Knolly you're avoiding the question! Besides, do you not think this look suits me? It's very warm and would be ideal cold weather underwear for any woman.'

I screwed up my eyes. Too many questions!

'You know I can't remember how much I drunk, but I do know that I could definitely do with a lay down and a nap.'

'Hmmm.... Well, please yourself. I had my tea in my room, so I'll just carry on with my book while you rest a while.'

'Elspeth - you are going to get changed before coming to bed, aren't you?'

She gave me a shocked look.

'Goodness, Mr Knolly! What kind of a woman do you take me for?'

Some time later, I woke to the sound of snoring in my ear. Elspeth was in her nightwear, whilst I was still clothed, although she had taken my shoes off and I could feel my toes once more. My tongue seemed too large for my mouth and my stomach was making some awful noises. I needed food and water and so a trip to the kitchen was in order. I eased myself off of the bed and turned Elspeth on to her side, Stoker's "Dracula" falling from her fingers in the process. Thankfully, I caught the tome before her place was lost.

So where was she up to? Ah! Chapter 11..... the bit about the wolf and the zoo.... I shook my head and with her bookmark in place placed the "novel" on the bedside table. Of the leotard there was no sign, and thankfully the same went for the widow's comforter. Elspeth had obviously been packing in preparation for the off tomorrow. My stomach growled once more, ensuring that I would not forget my current mission. Picking up my shoes, I made my way out of the room and onto the landing.

I could not determine the time from my watch, but I guessed that it must have been between 11 and midnight, and I also guessed that there would be some or other tasty tidbits and munchable morsels to eat.

For such a noisy place during the day, Hoot Hall could take on an air of solemnity as soon as everyone had turned in. I was quite used to this, for - as a young lad - I had often crept about where I hadn't ought, and in the process discovered all manner of coming and goings. Looking back, it was hardly surprising that I’d been sent away on so many occasions; it didn't pay to have someone snooping around when one's adopted Aunt often had to be the Queen's double or when one's adopted Uncle was being discussed by eminent scientists of the day.

My feet were still sore from the cramps that they had endured, but my shoes were a lot more comfortable now than they had been earlier. As I bent down to tie my laces, I noticed that there was a sliver of light coming from one of the rooms on the floor below. As I made my way quietly down the stairs to the to kitchen, I wondered who could have been up so late? I soon realised that the room with the light on was Auntie's. I thought this rather odd, and then just assumed that she had nodded off and left a light on. My stomach started growling rather loudly and so I decided to check if anything was amiss on my way back up after my raid on the kitchen.

As I tiptoed into the kitchen, it was comforting to see that - true to form - cook had left a sumptuous spread of leftovers from the earlier luncheon and also from the later meal that I had missed. I was so busy loading a plate with cheese, ham and eggs that I didn't notice anyone behind me until they spoke.

'Do you really think you should be eating all that at this hour of the night?'

I turned to find my Aunt in her still dressed for daytime, but looking rather dusty.

'You've not turned in for the night yet, Aunt Lettice?'

'No, young man, I haven't. And I am pleased that you still be a creature of habit after all these years and that you made your way down here at some point. I had rather hoped it would been earlier than this, but ...'

'I thought I'd been very quiet moving about.'

Yes, dear, you always did. Now, that tea should still be hot, so let us sit and I'll talk while you listen, hmm?'

'Is something the matter Aunt? ... We.... Well Sol-Tan and Sag said...'

She held up her hand. 'You sit and eat and I'll do the speaking. Now... Where's that tea, Knolly. Come, come!'

I put down my plate of food, took two cups and proceeded to pour. I knew this tone of old and it would not do me any good to comment, interject or question until my Aunt was finished.

'Knolly, I'm not getting any younger ....' she looked at me, willing me to comment, but I knew better and so she went on ' .... but I'm not going mad, no matter what anyone says. I'm sure that you are aware that I went to the Admiralty with your head of department after your birthday event?'

I nodded and supped some very stewed tea.

'He won't stop smoking that blasted pipe of his, you know. Thinks it keeps him healthy, the big buffoon ...'

She gave me a stern look and I shut up.

'Knolly, that's not why I went to see him, I went to ask him to keep you ....in a desk job.'

'What!! What? Why on Earth would you do that?'

'Knolly, hear me out please - and do keep your voice down. You are about to become a father; I would hate to see Elspeth bringing up her child alone as I had to do with you and your cousins.'

'Auntie, Elspeth is fully aware the risks associated with my work. Heavens above! She is not exactly the woman at home herself. If you are that worried about the welfare of your future grandchild, perhaps you should be having this conversation with both Elspeth and me.'

She sighed and for once looked her age.

'Knolly, your Uncle was just the same - as was I - but I fear that something dreadful is going to happen to you. That nice Mr Biggfat told me that you had to go away again but it was not on a mission sanctioned by the Government. He said you believed that it was something to do with the disappearance of your Uncle.'

She paused for dramatic effect and ruined it by slurping her tea.

'This is dreadful ...' she sighed.

'I'm so very sorry. Errr .... sorry.... do you mean that the tea is dreadful or that my not-so-secret mission is dreadful?'

She leapt up and grabbed me by the ear lobe. 'Don't play games with your Aunt, young man!'

'Owwww! Yes, yes!" I said in some discomfort. 'It is true that I am investigating in a non-Service capacity. Something is not right up by Loch Ness, and I'm going as soon as I can.'

'Now, see? Was that so difficult?'

'For my ear,' - I rubbed it - 'yes, I believe it was.'

'Knolly, tell me. How much do you really know about your Uncle's accident, hmmm? I'm sure you've read the official reports, heard tales, spied on visitors from behind the stair rails and what not.'

'I think I know a lot more than that.' I replied quietly.

'Indeed. Well, you won't be needing to see this.' She said as she placed a small note book on the table in front of her.

'And that is what, pray?' I asked.

'Your Uncle's diary for 1845.'

I tried to look relaxed at this news and idly reached out for the book.

'Where has this been Auntie? No forget that, I shall guess. But why give it to me now?'

She smacked my hand before I could touch the precious journal.

'Because you need to read his version of events, not the official one. Because you need to see his sketches,' she paused for breath. '... and if you insist on going forward with this foolish adventure, you need to be ready.'

The Great Knolly Archive

The Shepherd and
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