h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Though I can't remember its origin, I can never forget the following poem. When a listener cannot see the text, he\she thinks the reader is reciting the English alphabet (albeit with the American pronunciation of "Z").

Elegy to a Scarecrow:

Hay, be seedy.
He-effigy, hate-shy jaky yellow man.
Oh peek! You are rusty.
You've edibles, you ex-wise he.

That's wonderful, Kes. I'd never heard it before.

And another goes along the lines of:

A is for horses,
B for mutton,
C for yourself,
D for blind,
E fer brick,
F fer vescent....unfortunately I forget the rest....perhaps someone else will refresh my memory?

ThatÕs pretty wonderful, too. Why not put it in ÔAsk the h2g2 communityÓ, DJ(S). If that fails, we can all have a go at inventing a new lot ourselves.

There are doubtless many variations. Here's a complete set, with "translations" of those that are not totally obvious:

A for 'orses
B for mutton
C for yourself
D for rent (different)
E for brick
F for vescent
G for police (Chief of police)
H for himself (Each for himself)
I for a bargain
J for orange (Jaffa orange)
K for a drink (Care for a drink?)
L for leather
M for sis (Emphasis)
N for a dig (Infra dig. - short for infra dignitatum - beneath one's dignity)
0 for the rainbow (Somewhere, over the rainbow ...)
P for relief
Q for the bus
R for mo (half a mo.)
S for you (it's for you)
T for 2
U for me
V for victory
W for quits (double you for quits)
X for breakfast (eggs)
Y for mistress
Z for effect (Said for effect)

Cheers - BCNU

Kes

There are doubtless many variations. Here's a complete set, with "translations" of those that are not totally obvious:

A for 'orses
B for mutton
C for yourself
D for rent (different)
E for brick
F for vescent
G for police (Chief of police)
H for himself (Each for himself)
I for a bargain
J for orange (Jaffa orange)
K for a drink (Care for a drink?)
L for leather
M for sis (Emphasis)
N for a dig (Infra dig. - short for infra dignitatem - beneath one's dignity)
0 for the rainbow (Somewhere, over the rainbow ...)
P for relief
Q for the bus
R for mo (half a mo.)
S for you (it's for you)
T for 2
U for me
V for victory
W for quits (double you for quits)
X for breakfast (eggs)
Y for mistress
Z for effect (Said for effect)

Cheers - BCNU

Kes

Thanks, Kes.

That's great.

Anyone heard this poem for reciting the alphabet backwards?

Said "why, eggs double your fee
your tea is our cupie
oh en em ell kay jay
I hate Gee if he deceives BA"

That's written from childhood memory, so it's not very good. I found it in the same book that I found that alternative alphabet (A for Horses) above, although someone else posted it first.

I forgot to say that the version I read had some slight differences, some I can remember, some I can't.

C for miles
H for a scratch
I for one
K for teria
O for my dead body
V for la France
W for a bet

There must be quite a few versions of that list! BTW - I like some of your alternatives better than the ones I knew!

My version has
C for th' Highlanders (Seaforth Highlanders) and X for tuppence (eggs for 2 old pennies) and I dimly remember a Hollwood based one that started Ava Gardner.

We must make it our mission to find out all the versions! Or maybe not.
Thanks for saying that Kes, I think there was another couple of differences, but I really can't remember them!