h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

as i have a Chinese sister in law I can contribute

Younger Sister = meme

Grandmother = neinei
grandfather = jeje
the latter tow are form the perspecive of the grandchild


the response to ni hoa ma = hoa ma or ma if you are lazy

hope someone can make use of this

regards

java

The pronunciation for Grandmother and Grandfather in last post was wrong,

Grandmother = Nai Nai, in tone 3, 3. Not neinei
grandfather = Ye Ye, in tone 2, 2. not jeje

If anyone's interested, I have a large and comprehensive supply of Mandarin insults, jeers, quips and one-liners. Most of them will almost certainly get you into a fight. The ones that don't aren't worth learning. The ones that do probably still aren't worth learning - fights being not all that difficult to start - but may make a good story after the fight.

Here's a selection:

Ni de ma shi yi ge ji nu - Your mother has a lot of catching up to do reputation wise.

Wo de pigu bi ni hao kan - Pleasing to the eye though your complexion is, certain parts of my anatomy may be aesthetically preferable.

Ni de yinjing zhende tai xiao le - It's not how big it is...

Interestingly enough, just about the most offensive thing you can say to someone in China (without refusing to eat the duck head just offered to you) is to say this:

Ni shi wugiu dan - You are a tortoise egg.

Which either explains a lot, or explains nothing.

Pronunciation is left up to the reader, but given appropriate gesticulations, volume of delivery and carefully prepared slide presentations the meaning should be obvious.