Sick of the relentless party atmosphere? Then you've come to the right place... I've drawn the curtains, laid out a few uncomfortable wooden chairs, and there's all the dry bread you can eat.

I'm still hoping Marvin the Paranoid Android might turn up at some point, but I can't promise anything, he wasn't feeling too good last time I spoke to him.

There's some great party music over by the stereo - Joy Division, Eels, Radiohead... if anyone has anything a bit less cheerful, feel free to put it on...

Of course, if it's all too much for you, you can always rejoin the frivolity... just don't come moaning to me when people expect you to have fun.