h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Now don't get me wrong right off the bat here. I love the taste of eggs, and they make a great omelet. I hate eggs when I walk outside in the morning and find them splattered on my car, like yesterday morning. It's a waste of possible french toast. Not to mention it stinks to high heaven if one gets broken over the ventilation inlet. Then there's the seventy-five cents and five minutes I had to spend at the car wash to remove the offending eggs. Luckily the paint on my car is already ruined or I would have been seriously upset. I feel for the person who owned the car next to mine, his paint job was still in good shape.

On the other hand, if I find whoever committed the act, some eggs would come in handy.